That’s week 3 finished and all I can say is how have I stuck out my goals and “resolution” for 2019? The January blues are in full swing but I am on to book 4 already! Are you still on track with your goals and New Years resolutions for 2019?

The weather in the UK has got really cold this week, its the start of the winter weather! We even had snow on Thursday. Snow is only ok if one I don’t have to drive in it and two if I can stay home in the warm. Snow is only good that way. Having to drive or walk to work and watch the snow fall whilst your working away. Oh to live somewhere warm.

To be honest I have had some really good highs this week where I have felt amazing but I have also struggled with just frustrates me. But then everyone has them days. The January blues hit everyone. I need something to look forward to. Maybe I need to book a holiday? And go next week or month.

When I wake up and feel good, I can go all day smiling, laughing and no pain! HOORAY 🙂 I have had a few days like that actually. The getting out of bed bit is a bit hard but I just force myself out as soon as the alarm goes off. Once I am up and decide what to wear I am feeling amazing and I am good to go.

My bed and my pyjamas are still my best friend. I am one for always being comfy these days. Who doesn’t love winter nights cosied up with loved ones. On Thursday I went to my parents because naturally I go there for the mad 10 minute of eat dinner, get changed and out the door for Pilates. They had the fire on and I just wanted to stay there cosy in front of the fire having a cuddle with the cat. I actually think if I was allowed to I would go to work in my pyjamas. Comfort is key with endometriosis.

I emailed my doctor last week and he must not of got the email so I have been in limbo for a week. (He has emailed now) By Thursday when I was at pilates (something I love) I couldn’t do some of the moves and that really got to me. I mean would it you. Would you get frustrated if you couldn’t do something thats easily done normally but not that time? Some how my left hand side of my body seems to reject me. Even my toes seemed to cramp with two pairs of socks on. If only you could have a left hand side of the body transplant. LOL.

Its natural for me and something I can do often. When something frustrates me such as I can’t do a pilates move I want to go hide. On the way back to my parents I did have a little cry but a cry is good and one that releases something in you that makes you feel ok again. I also felt like that I should let my mum go pilates on her own because I can’t do moves that stop her doing them. Have I mentioned I do personal training pilates with my mum? But of course my mum was ok with not doing some moves and I also said I would just not do some moves and miss a move or two and she still could.

At work this week, it has been a good one. A week of laughter and lots of it. A busy week as well helping on other projects, in fact I have worn my glasses all week because I have had a strange headache sort of thing. But never the less, worked to my best abilities and helped others. Which I love to do. May also help that my work friend brought in some crunchie rocks and chocolate is definitely good when you have the January blues.

I haven’t overly had plans this week. I mean its the week before pay day so everyone is skint and to be honest I am quite happy watching youtube in bed and chilling out. I am sticking to my bullet journal and self care journal though. They are filled in nightly before my 30-45 minute read.

Its been another week of junk food and what I fancy. Chips and chicken nuggets seem to be the favourite. But if thats what my body is telling me then that is what I will feed it. I have started to eat granola again which I am loving and planning to buy more today for this week. By Friday though I really wanted a meat free meal so I had a bowl of pesto pasta and half a bag of broccoli. Got to get in my 5 a day!

I was looking forward to yesterday (Saturday) I was going to my friend’s then off to Westfield Stratford shopping. I was given some money for Christmas and decided I would like some Doctor Martens. They are really on trend at the minute and I love them. I am also lucky enough to fit in children’s. HAPPY DAYS. £50 less. I wanted to go to the shop though to try them on. I am never sure if I adults come up longer or not. But now I know for Doc Martens I can fit in children’s, they look the same near enough just has a zip on the insides which makes them 10 times more worth purchasing! It was a really good day actually, though the trains were messed up and took more than the 20 minutes it should have to get there but we still had a good time. My friend ended up buying more than me and went for nothing. How nice is it for my friend to come all the way to London for me to try on and buy some Doctor Martens.

I have really tried this week to shut my “Jiminy Cricket” off. Telling me stuff I don’t want to hear and do. I am the better of me and “Jimmy Cricket” and I achieved to be the better one this week. I started a 15 minute headspace meditation, one I want to carry on this week and for many more daily. Maybe a little earlier in the day because I did drift off to sleep a few times. Only to wake when the man talked. Meditation seems to help me and I want to look into and learn more on meditation. Get in my zen and all that!

I would love if my “Jiminy Cricket” would tell me good things, like “hey Mel, you should wear this today because you look good in this” or “Mel you are amazing”. Wouldn’t that be good? Do you have a “Jiminy Cricket”?

At the end of the day I am only human. I can only do what is best for me and what I need to do for myself. I am learning everyday what is good. Though pilates frustrated me. Lets re phrase that. My body frustrated me during pilates, I have to stay positive. If I look back to a year ago I was in A&E with my dad and I could barely move to the front door let along do the cat stretch or a sliding lunge. There has to be a positive in everything. Another one being that I walked 10k steps round Westfield.

Its better to be unique than ‘normal’ though who can define normal? Being a one off, or different in certain ways brings more to the party! It doesn’t matter anymore if I have 20 friends or 5 friends. As long as the ones who love me stand by me I am happy. Also having a cuddle from my mum really helped me this week.

Maybe this reading a book a week and self care isn’t too bad as I thought. Am I changing or shall I say improving already? Does that 1 hour before bed and shutting of from the world other than the latest book and journals good for me. I tell you something, I am dreaming a lot. Is it the books or just me? Who knows! If your goal this year is to be happier, more into self care and loving yourself, how is it going?