It is Sunday morning and its time for your weekly feed of self care, my life and what’s going right and wrong in it. Also a time for you to check in on yourself and loved ones to make sure everyone truthfully is ok. Self care is hugely important to me and I learnt about it 4 or so years ago. I was going through, what I know now as the long, lengthy process of being diagnosed with endometriosis. To be honest self care has put me where I am today, without it would I be working full time, trying to achieve my goals and ambitions for 2020 and living an as “normal” life as I do?
Honestly right now I just want to say that is Friday night, 8:38pm as I write this sentence and I am asking myself “what self care did I really practice this week?” It has been a pretty stressful low key sort of week. In this period of my life, I am struggling, I am seven months into trying my something new, which I will continue to. But it’s at the point now where my body is playing havoc with my decisions. Sort of as if it doesn’t love me and anything I do, good or bad it doesn’t like. That fed up sort of stage is where I am right now. Anyway lets see what “self care” if any I have done this week to keep me going.
In the UK it has been half term this week. Which of course as an adult that doesn’t mean a thing, other than the fact that I can get to and from work extremely quicker! For the first time in my life I have wanted to still be in school. Not because I want to be back learning and that kind of thing but I need a break. I feel like I need 100 hours sleep and some sunshine. A bit of colour and to lay around for a week or two! Sounds amazing doesn’t it? What makes it worse is that my friend is working in Lanzarote and post instagram stories laying around on the beach.
So sleep has been the thing for me this week. I am warn out. It’s got to be because it is cold and horrible 24/7. My effort to do anything is poor and even my dinners have been a plate of parsnips with a bit of meat. A pack of wine gums or starburst to get me through the morning at work and toast for lunch. Purely this is just a stage I am in at a minute and I know 100% I will get out of this but oh my if its not chocolate or junk food basically I don’t want it. Early nights every night has been my saviour because by 8:30pm I have had enough of the day, evenings are painful for me because my tummy but for the life of me, I just cannot eat healthy right now. Asleep by 9:30pm every night really is the only way to switch off.
Why has this week been stressful? You may be asking. Well that is because of work. How lucky am I to have been chosen to present my projects to the director? You’d think this would be a piece of cake for me, being I am confident to sit down in front of a camera and film. But in reality I am totally good in front of a camera, but person face to face I can’t even put a sentence together. Or it comes out in the wrong order anyway. So it’s the build up of making sure everything is ok. All the information is there for me to have it when questions are asked. Naturally you panic and worry because we are all human. We need to look as we are succeeding and doing well.
If you didn’t know I have decided that its time to move on and put my little flat up for sale. Though it’s not on the open market yet and no views. It’s well on its way to being that way. Time for a new chapter to begin and continue my life in a bigger and better place. Hopefully! Tuesday had me taking my lunch break at 9am so the agents could come over and look round my flat. We are heading in the right direction.
Now since the end of November I have been taking my lunch break around 12:45pm and going home. So that is 3 months nearly and its amazing the difference it makes, by having my lunch break away from my desk. Breaking out and away for an hour really helps you to come back and refocus in the afternoons. I was falling asleep by 3pm on Tuesday and just couldn’t get motivated to do anything! Somehow as and when I need to come home for things other than lunch I am going to have to have them later in the day rather than first thing!
It has been a boring week really for me, nothing overly adventurous has happened. Just the work and home. Need a kick up the back side really to get going and moving. My organised routine hasn’t been in place for a week or two now and I am really feeling it. Next week I have to get back into my routine and structure. By Wednesday I didn’t have Thursday’s blog post scheduled or written yet. So I had to do it. I was even tempted to just cancel this weeks Thursday and Friday posts due to not feeling well. But forcing myself to get up and do something that needed doing anyway really helped me. That is a reason I think my struggle is here because I am not forcing myself to continue things, the buzz of success has gone and its disappointing me. When I am busy every night, the week goes quicker, I get something from being organised and hence why I am now still typing this on Friday night to get back on to me structured routine.
Due to the deep clean and clear out my journals are now in my living room. But I can’t have that as an excuse. Since finishing “The Flatshare” I just simply can’t get into another book. Nothing meets “The Flatshare” and how amazing it was. So I am not reading, the kindle just sits on the side. I am not journalling either which is sad, I love my journals and the creativity it brings me every evening. Me time has gone from my favourite time of everyday to the worst time of my day. It’s emotional and by that point I literally am caving into my body and sleeping. This week I have to get back into reading and journalling.
Somehow for the whole of February to be honest, I have been reselling. Random as that sounds I am making money from it and money is something I love. But know I can’t spend it because every penny goes to my something new now. Everything combined, so new home, something new and that all needs money! Making even £20 is good for a week but I am up there in the £80-£100 mark. Which is a reason to be happy.
Oh all week this week, I have had a sore throat and a runny nose. My hay fever normally starts in March so I am thinking I need to find my prescription for tablets fast. It can’t be a cold because I don’t fully feel like it is one. But my throat is tickly and sore. Blown noses are more frequent as well. Better get them tablets out.
Then we get to Friday. The day we have been dreading. Oh my today has dragged! It’s Friday for me by the way. So long and nerve racking. Firstly I was prepared and ready to get this presentation over with by 8:30am but when you get told that day your meeting is at 2pm, you freak out. Started on a slice of cake for energy before 10am and the whole morning was so slow. Every hour was 4 at least. We can be pretty casual in our work wear and I’m always in a sweatshirt and jeans. But today I thought I would dress up for the occasion. Maybe that was why I was so cold but anyway. A simple burgundy shirt, jeans and ankle boots. Tied my hair back into a low straightened pony and looked better than I do the majority of my work days!
The feeling of walking out of the board room and your shoulders dropping as a sign of relief. A weight off your body and no more pressure to know your stuff! To be honest with you all. I haven’t done a single piece of work all day. Serves them right for making us wait 5 and half hours! Felt good to walk out of the meeting and doing ok. The best I could of done and pleased that it was over for a while. Everything is going to be ok and I couldn’t of done any better than I did. We did find out that big numbers like £226987.54 I can’t read out loud properly but we are going to work on that together. Never been good at maths.
Friday nights are my leave work and hit Sainsbury’s. Rewarding myself due to making money on reselling stuff and how pleased I was that the dreaded wait was over and I did my best. I treated myself to some flowers. Because of half term floristry wasn’t on. Right now I am craving creativity. Creativity is something I am missing and I need it back. Thinking of mother’s day coming up and how I can make, make, make. A hobby that makes money is always a good one. Also because the spring flowers are coming into play so bunches are bright, colourful and cheerful. Flowers make me happy and I can’t have them out on the side to walk into every morning. Start with a happy smile.
Next week, what do I want to achieve? Me time! 100% has to come back into play. Read a book at least to try achieve 2020 goals. Force myself to read it if I have to. Push the routine back into place so by Wednesday I am done and can chill for a couple days. You know I thrive off the organised structure, hence why I am struggling now. Stop the junk food as much! No more sweets or cake at 10am! And make time for me, do what I want and what makes me happy.
What do you want to achieve next week? Focusing on any self care in particular?