Two weeks left of 2019!! Say what?! 2019 has been a year of self care for me. Self care is for anyone, whether you have mental health problems, chronic illness or pain and even the normal healthy person. Not just the daily shower and general self care things but its about learning what your body needs, what you need and how to love the life you have by using self care.
For all those new, hello there. I am Melanie Kate, 29 years old living just outside London, UK and I live with a chronic disease called Endometriosis. Self care came into my life a good 4 years ago I would say and that is due to the long process that is being diagnosed with endometriosis. Anyone with endometriosis will know that you are pulled and pushed from pillar to post with the random “it is in your head” thrown at you several times in between. The “it is in your head” lead me to self care. Now it’s an everyday not thought about thing that just happens and it’s now something I love.
This week has been the worst for me. Don’t ask me what is going on, but when I say my body hates me, this week definitely proves that. It was a short week because I have a long weekend using my holiday up but at the same time not only have I got the dreaded winter cold but somehow my body doesn’t like food this week, whatever it is, dry, plain food or yummy delicious food its flowing through me or flowing up and out.
So as you may tell from the last paragraph, it’s been a tough week. Though I am 100% not sure if its my body just trying to play up or a bug, I really do think the not stomaching food is due to my body playing up. The cold was to be expected, though I am one that try to stay clear of and remain healthy, I tend to get one every other year or so.
Even with feeling rubbish, I still went to work for the whole 4 day week. To be fair my cold has only been worse since Thursday afternoon. It was me sneezing twice or three times, then my colleague for the same amount. We are the only 2 that have it in my area anyway and we are the ones who went to Manchester last week. Not that I am blaming Manchester but the travelling really did take it out of me.
So self care has all been about trying to feel better. Or take directions to feel better. After 2 days of not stomaching anything I went to Sainsbury’s for plain dry food. Thank god it’s nearly Christmas because I could be on dry food for a while. Anyway I brought a Christmas selection of Jacob’s Crackers and some mini cheddars.
Whilst I was going to work daily, I am still coming home at lunchtimes because I can be home in 5 minutes. Can eat some mini cheddars and/or some crackers and chill out. You know I have been doing this daily for 3 weeks now and I think my mindset and enthusiasm to work is better all day rather than the flag of waiting to go home. By stepping away from my desk for a good hour, not only is helping me, its helping the company. appetising
Rocking the bowls of pasta for dinner, literally boiled pasta bows and a fork. How appetising? But if that is all I can keep down then so be it. What can you do, when you are starving but you feel sick at the same time and even when McDonald’s is shouting at you. That’s when you have to pull self care closer and no you don’t need or want McDonald’s so go with the pasta.
It has definitely been a week for bubble baths. More so the end of this week but everyday always. Where my flat doesn’t keep the heat well its cold. So I can run a bath on boost, with the tap on the hottest and its the perfect temperature. When I am in the bath I can see the steam coming off which is is good for my cold. A time I can sit for half hour and can breathe properly, relax and feel better.
Evenings for me have been all about staying warm, laying in bed and trying to shift this mess. Week nights when I am in for work, cooking and eating my bowl of pasta then a long hot bath, its nearly time for me time and bed. Chilling out and watching what I love to watch, whilst wrapping up in blankets to stay warm to fit my cold. That is what this week has been about, is looking after my poorly self and trying to feel better faster than normal.
Friday I had the day off, purely because I had to use my holiday up but actually by Thursday afternoon I was feeling really bad. I couldn’t wait to get home and get into bed. That was the plans now for Friday. Don’t know how I did it but I did, I slept for 12 hours, 10pm-10am and I felt better for it. Didn’t move from my bed unless I needed a wee or food. As much as that really is a waste of a day of holiday, I really thought I felt good by 4pm. I watched The Greatest Store in the world which is a Christmas film but was only on the tv ages ago. Eventually I found the full film on youtube.
By 4pm I decided to get up and have a bath. They do help especially with the steam coming off the water. But afterwards I started to get worse and worse. Something that always happens but I always cry when I feel poorly. Does anyone else? You know I have so much to do and I want to go out shopping and make things, do things but really I can’t. That is why I cry. Like I want to do that but I am so poorly and feeling sorry for myself I can’t.
I live alone as well which I don’t think helps when I am sick. You feel lonely and sorry for yourself more than ever. My mum text me and asked what my plans were for the weekend? On FaceTime I was crying because there is open workshops for glass blowing and shopping I want to do. In the end my dad was forcing me to get up from my bed and go do something. Just to distract my mind.
Ended up washing my hair which did make me feel good and I made my best friend’s one year old part of her Christmas present, which I will embroider her name on today. Something as simple as getting up, moving room and a basic sewing project. Moved my brain from feeling sorry for myself and crying my eyes out to getting something done that I actually needed to do anyway.
I’m writing this on Saturday this week and I woke early today at 6am which is super early for me on a weekday let alone a weekend. But there we go a blocked nose and I was awake. I felt ok actually, I was planning on getting up, filming and going to my mum and dads. Which I have done, but between getting up, dressed and filming my good feelings are poorly again. So wanted to go shopping because I love to shop but nope I am on their sofa watching tv and in front of the fire.
Me time this week has been a bit rubbish if I am honest. Because I am not motivated and I am not feeling my best. The evenings are the worst and by 9pm I am emotional and ready to go bed. So I have been a bit neglectful l of my self care books.
My reading though I love to read. It brings so much to that hour before bed and I am then calm and ready for sleeping. A good story and I am there. Which is really bizarre being that before the beginning of this year I read on holiday only and as a child I wasn’t good at reading and so I never did. Must have read more this year than my life. That reminds me I need to do 2 bookworm posts on my instagram.
Anyway that has been my poorly week. Self care for me this week has all been about doing what my body needs, early nights, plain boring food and duvet days.
This coming week I really hope I am feeling better. I need to get my motivation back and end 2020 on a high of self care goodness. Good healthy food, friends and family. Wrap up the work for the year and get ready to celebrate Christmas. What are your plans?