Weeks seem to be flying by and honestly how do we really have 2 weeks left of 2020? That seems mad when really I have sent 9 months of it pretty much in these four walls I call my home. Though 2020 has been hard in a lot of ways, I have learnt a lot of what I want and need in life. Even this week in particular I am still learning more than ever. Self care has really helped me in life and everyday it helps me to be happy and live the best life I can. 

There is a lot of talk and advertisement about mental health this week. Which is the first time I have really heard and noticed it. A lot have suffered more than ever this year and really we are the most important to take care of. Today I was driving around and the same advert came on several times. Asking you to exercise daily, take a walk but also take some time at lunch everyday to breathe. 

Meditation is huge for me and something I can actually do. How I don’t really know but I can. Though I have to be in the right mood to meditate. If I am wandering around in my mind, then its no good. But if I am focused or need to break out then give me 15 minutes max and I will get back to my happy medium. Toilet meditation was something I use to do pretty much daily but now I don’t need it as much. I live on my own and I can easily walk to the sofa or bed and just refocus my energy. 

Though I do have to say, that meditation doesn’t always work for me. Like I said if I am wandering around thoughts in my mind. Then there isn’t much point. If my mind is playing games or things that shouldn’t be triggers become them, then I think the power of switch off has to come from my force rather than a quick meditation and my force sometimes takes a little while longer than 15 minutes! 

My week feels like I have been living a rollercoaster and a busy one at that. I am so tired and I have so much to do still, that I can’t afford a lay in till 11 tomorrow. But that is ok. Where I have a lot of annual leave left, working days are less and sleep time is definitely on my plans for the Christmas holidays. Even might catch me having a cheeky nap! 

Honestly I can’t say I have done much other than work. I had Wednesday off and we made wreaths and table centrepieces. Ate pad Thai and chilled out. Been to the shops a few nights though not to even shop overly. But I have been home by 6:30pm, so technically not late. Maybe its just my body telling me, the weather is dull and you need to have some extra sleep. One day pretty soon my body you will, I promise. In fact tomorrow you can sleep until 10am, which is 12 hours depending on me finishing this and falling asleep. 

Really been creative this week, which is a good thing for me. Creativity is an amazing part of self care and even if you think you can’t create something. Try! Because even if it’s the simplest of things such as colour in, you will feel so much better from it. Relaxed and chilled out. You may even have a smile on your face and that is a huge positive! 

For me creativity, this week has been putting the Christmas tree up, wrapping presents and floristry. I love to craft and really wish I could do more of it. My spare time is my creative times and I love it, but also thrive off the happiness it gives me. There is nothing better than a big happy smile on my face. By that I mean an actual happy smile. 

Self care is pretty natural for me now and I do things daily that I now no longer count as self care when really they are. But I just wanted to create a life that didn’t focus on my pain and my health because that isn’t a happy one. If you focus on all the negatives in life then your world can get a little sadder and harder. Making the choices I did, have also allowed me to grow up more and now I know what I want in life and happy with who and what I have in life. Not that I don’t want to grow anymore and I still have life goals. It’s just that I have learnt from mistakes and formed the happy life I want. 

Heat is a huge help to me, give me a hot bubble bath, a blanket or a beach and I will be good. As the weather is getting colder, I really am thinking more about layers and what will keep me warm etc. I have to say that this 2 duvets and a blanket is really helping and I wake up happy when I am snuggled up in my duvets, all warm and refreshed. This flat is naturally one that lets the air out so can be cold. To the point now that I am in here 6 out of 7 days and potentially not leaving it. When I go to my parents or a normal heated building I am boiling and rosey red cheeked within half hour. Its too hot and that isn’t something anyone would of heard me saying. Being I am a naturally cold person! 

The best thing I have learnt or acknowledged this week is that I have the best friends anyone could have. I have also realised though I am not a hugger, I need a hug from loved ones and that a hug can do much more mentally than anything else. From the reassuring words, ‘thanks for being you, don’t change for anyone’ and ‘I miss you’. Really put a huge happy smile on my face and I cannot wait for the day I can go and hug them properly and hang out, eat food and celebrate us! 

My support network might be small but its the best. I wouldn’t change it for the word. Its definitely quality over quantity! There are too many in this world that are fake or out to hurt you unfortunately and that is why I am just happy for who I have and I actually love them for being them and accepting me for me. 

Sitting here typing this out in bed with the happiest smile on my face is the best Saturday night I could have! Right now anyway. Next week I want to keep my smile going, I have an important week and though I am nervous for it, it will be ok. I need to make the time to focus on what needs to be done and get it done. But all in a good way and that I am still smiling and happy. Its a 3 day week and I am so looking forward to creativity and sleep. Then it will be all systems go for Christmas. 

What do you need to focus on?