Well week 5 has been interesting lets put it that way. We have had snow this week in the UK have you? How has your week been? Are you still sticking to your goals? 

So the start of the week, I worked as usual. Had my hours break and did a lot of project based work. I was looking forward to 5pm though to go home and get in my pyjamas. I am still into the cosy evenings and chilled ones.

Tuesday was when the snow started, that evening anyway. Nothing to stop the day to day go about though. Snow is the only reason I miss school. For them snow days. Tuesday was the day I started to get poorly. I was ok I just carried on and met my mum at my local charity shop to find vintage chinaware. We also went to B&M because when you aren’t feeling right you need some chocolate. I actually went there for tissues but you know you shouldn’t go shopping when your hungry.

I had chocolate for dinner Tuesday night. I just didn’t want to cook and was craving the chocolate. A nice snack size double decker went down nicely. It was just a chilled evening after I really need to do more self care things to talk to you other than a good bubble bath and meditation. But I am also poorly so this is my excuse for now.

I went to work Wednesday because I didn’t feel unwell enough to pass. I did buy some boiled sweets as well as the chocolate on Tuesday, so the sweets were definitely eaten to help me feeling sick. Wednesday night was when I really got worse. I was struggling massively. I got up to have a shower to try make me feel better. You know feeling clean and fresh pyjamas always make you feel better. Well that was it. I was rough. I kept getting up to walk around not sure what to do. I live alone so I’m literally relying on myself to do to keep me going. By 9pm I was wanting to just sit but the toilet. I was needing to be sick but nothing physically would come out. That was it, I was upset and I hate to be poorly. I went to bed after that. I thought lets hope I will be better tomorrow.

Being the strong person I am (lol) I went to work. I don’t actually know how I got out of bed when my alarm went off. I don’t know how I even drove to work to be honest. I was rough. I normally get up, eat, get ready and leave in about 40 minutes. Well it definitely took longer on Thursday. When I got in I looked at my friend, tripped over my feet when I got to my desk, the phone rang and as I picked it up I knocked an empty water bottle over. That was it I was done. My friend new I already felt ill from the day before but it was obvious I really shouldn’t of been there.

I am one to try carry on as much as possible, I guess that is because I have had 5 operations in the past 3 nearly 4 years. So I like to try keep all my sick leave just incase. Based just on the last 4 years the probabilities are high. Not that I know this will happen yet.

And this was me for Thursday and Friday. I parked my car up at home, walked straight in back in my pyjamas and slept for a couple hours. I woke for lunch and to watch a bit of tele and was asleep again by 2pm for another couple of hours. I obviously needed the sleep because I was asleep again by 9pm and slept straight through the night.

We aren’t 100% sure what is wrong with me, but we think its a virus. I feel constantly sick, no energy a slight temperature, a headache and random times of the day when I’m not even hot I get bright red cheeks. If you google that it comes up with Slap Face which I had when I was little. But who knows it could be anything and I still have it now. There is nothing to take to make Slap Face better its just waiting it out. So I will be living off plain food like toast and pasta, sweets to help the sick feeling and my bed is my best friend. Gaviscon needs to up its responsibilities too because my heartburn is constant.

Friday night I really felt down, sad and lonely. Its hard for me when I am poorly and I always cry because I hate to be poorly but even talking about being poorly makes me cry.

Saturday my mum decided enough was enough of the bed and I needed to do things. So I drove to theirs in my pyjamas, with a bag of stuff and stayed for the weekend. I went to the opticians and brought myself some new glasses. I am wearing mine more and more so I wanted some new ones. I picked something I didn’t go for in the first place, different but they are the ones I kept picking up to try on. I got some card and a pritt stick for a vision board I am working on. We went charity shop shopping but no luck this time. We had lunch, plain pasta and chicken for me. We did me a food shop, some added extras of what I fancied but thats what you need when your poorly. We went back to mine because I forgot my camera battery. Then hobbycraft for some craft bits and bobs for my upcoming project. Horses and back home. Now thats a lot for someone who has spent 2 days in bed.

You could look at this week 2 ways really. One that self care or in fact the week was a total fail because I was sick or that I did what my body needs and crashed, I slept because I needed to recover, I went sick at work because working wouldn’t have got me anywhere. Taking them 2 days to just lay around and try shift the lurgy though I have failed I am better just slightly now than I was on Wednesday.

Talking about the book we wrapped up our first 30 days and checked in on our highs and lows, what we rated and what we wanted to do more on this month. My high was that I have had good company this month. Its something I have written in my grateful line most weeks. I rated January slightly better than December. An improvement never the less. Something I really want to improve on is meditation. I need to meditate daily and make sure I do it for at least 10 minutes a day.

The winter months are always a struggle for me, we go to work and travel home in the dark. Its cold and miserable. Everyone is waiting for things to look forward to and all the cold and flu viruses are about. Its also a time when SADS is around and people can really struggle.

How was January for you? What was a high and a low? What do you want to improve on?