Now that just took a lot of maths to work out what week we are finishing. It has been a long time. How are you doing? Though these posts are mainly about my life and self care, I want to update you on what has been happening since my last post a month ago. Self care is really important to me and I think it will always be a huge part of my life, I have a condition for life unfortunately. So it honestly allows me to live a life I want, more easily.
If you are a regular and follow me on all platforms, you will already know this but from the beginning of week 44 until literally Monday I have been unwell. We are thinking food poisoning, but it took a long while to go. I am a pusher and will try to continue on but after a day and a half of working, I was done. Nap time came around at 5pm and I was gone for a couple hours. How I even thought I could work the Wednesday, I honestly don’t know. Because an hour in, I was off to sleep again. In the end I threw in the towel and had to take the rest of the week off sick. Being in a bubble with my mum and dad really helped because I ended up driving slowly with my mum following to theirs and stayed for a few days. My dad had this as well by the way, somehow my mum escaped it being the last thing we ate together was her Thai green curry!
So the first week was pretty much sleep and laying around. All food and any food was off the menu and it was very hard to keep anything down. To the point my mum was cooking sausages and chips and I had to get them to shut the door because the smell was too much. Before anyone else asks, no I am not pregnant! My mum came to the living room with the Febreze and I had to run through to lay down by the loo for a while.
I ventured home on the Sunday because I was adamant I was going back to work from home on Monday no matter what! Saying that it was a struggle but since that day I have been back at work full swing and productive. But that is why I had to take a break. Due to being unwell for 3 weeks straight, I had to bring back things in slowly, a week of no food and throwing up takes it out of you. So I started with work for a week, last week I filmed and edited 3 videos and now I am back writing. And we are just going to go with the flow from now on and see what happens. For I don’t even have a schedule together.
This has been the first week that I have felt normal again. Though I was back eating or trying to eat normally, this is the first I have cooked an actual meal each day and tried to keep healthy eating etc. The only good thing about this whole feeling unwell is the weight loss. Lockdown definitely allowed me to feel heavier. So I am really grateful for this, to allow me to slim down again. Not that I will stay this slim but I want to try stay healthy.
Honestly there isn’t much else to say to you all about the past few weeks. I have laid in bed or on a sofa an awful lot. Slept and day dreamed a lot and tried to push through. Another thing that I am grateful for, is that it allowed me to finish my Christmas shopping. All I need to do now is wrap it all and keep my fingers crossed that we are allowed Christmas with our families!
My focus has been myself and though I put my life online, not everything about my life really is. We are in lockdown again in the UK, so its not like I am spending a lot of time with friends or family but I have been taking the time to talk to my friends more and sit and chat via FaceTime. The things I love and what makes me happy are the things that are my main focus right now. As long as I am healthy and happy that is totally ok for me. There is a lot of things I need to change or would like different right now, but I can’t so its ok.
The whole moving process is doing my head in. Honestly I feel like I could still be here in 2025, the rate everything is going. So I have decided that within my bucket list, I am switching things around a bit. Hopefully that is. It will all fall together nicely in the end for sure. But as I just mentioned my focus is on myself and what I love, keeps me healthy and happy. I guess at some point in the future, I will go into detail a little more but for now my lips are sealed.
A month or two ago my mum cut me in curtain bangs as I requested. She isn’t a hair dresser and did just as I asked. At the same time I added more blonde to my hair and we toned it all with ash. Anyway, it went a little wrong and I have been wearing my hair up a lot. The other day I had a teams meeting and wore it down and I had a lot of greys but also a dodgy root line. That was it, I had had enough and it was time for a change. So I am now back to brunette. My natural colour near enough and its so dark. Crazy thing is, I have worn it down every day this week and only 1 person has noticed from work. Isn’t that insane?
With winter well on its way, I am all down for warmth, layers and a cosy night in snuggled in a blanket. To me that is perfect, along with a hot bubble bath and a book or bit of tv. I am totally fine to stay in all day everyday as long as I am warm and have the things that I enjoy. Of course maybe it would be better if I had a friend or two and that here. But honestly you can let me stay home forever if you want.
One thing that has been happening a lot, well for a while now and that is crazy dreams and nightmares. I could honestly write a book on my dreams, how crazy and rememberable they are. Dreams and/or nightmares seem to be happening every night. It’s only been this week that they are fizzling out again. But I changed my bedding today just so I hope to sleep better and dream some more. Though its not fun playing cops and robbers and being shot in the eye to kill you in real life! The annoying part of sleep is the baby birds that keep waking me up at 4am tweeting away.
My inner bookworm is still in full swing. I actually thinking about it, don’t know if I updated you all on the last book I read. But I am really into Lucinda Berry’s books and the normal girly kind. Switching from a dark psychological thriller to a romantic storyline. Some close to me, think I am weird to read a thriller before bed but honestly they are really good. The romantic ones are equally as good but its good to switch them about. Next up though is a self care book again.
Though my me time is normally 9-10pm, the hour before I go to sleep with I am a Celebrity on. I am tending to read 8-9pm instead. Which is kind of annoying as I am settling and relaxing then to be wired to the tv again. But I love that programme and it’s on for a month a year. So we are going to deal with it.
I do have to say though life seems ok right now. After a bout of being sick and poorly, I am fighting back again and ready to go. Of course I would like a few things to be different and not bothering me but they will come in due course. With others letting new chapters to start before, hopefully!
Honestly self care has purely been about me these last 4 weeks. All about getting better, focusing on what I want and how to get it. I really do feel like I have grownup a lot this year in particular and I totally know what I want, need in life and what I enjoy. How I can push myself and know exactly what works and doesn’t for me. There has been a lot of time to think and I am really ready for the move and everything else that comes my way. Whatever order it comes in!
Finally I just want to say that I am thankful for all my family and friends, who have been here for me the past few weeks in particular. Socialising is something I really struggle with and it’s something I am trying to improve on. But honestly my close knit of people and support is amazing. I am so happy to call you my friends and as I have been helping others close to me recently by sharing my hand or helping in a way, I am really grateful to have theirs back. Appreciate who is around you and what they bring to your life. For friends can be loved more or equally as a family member.
This week was my final 5 day week before Christmas and I am excited for the time off, even if I can’t do anything! I am tired and in need of sleep. Next week I want to try focus on a few things really. Motivation is one of them. Somehow, I need to motivate myself more, just need to push myself a little more and get where I need to be. Socially I want to keep the regular talk with my friends and family. A video call or text, phone call even. But the main thing is to keep healthy and happy.
What do you need to focus on?