Hello! It’s Sunday and it’s that time of the week where I check in on you all. Are you ok? Sunday mornings are also in a way for you to sit down chill and catch up on my life, how I am feeling, what I am doing and most importantly self care. Self care came into my life a good 4 years ago maybe 3 and I have learnt so much from it. When you are in between diagnoses and being told “its in your head” you really start to feel alone and needing to love yourself more. That’s me, Melanie Kate, 29, from just outside London, UK, living with endometriosis. Though I have a chronic illness, self care really is for everyone.
Anyway we are just about to wrap up week 45, how crazy is that. When I set out this goal for 2019, really I didn’t think I would be where I am today, or how things would have gone. Right now I would love to say I am the happiest person on planet earth but in reality nothing goes the way it should! How are you doing? For me I am ok and an ok that is getting through bad days and good days.
To be honest, I really should of thought more about my something new and planned it better because if I had I wouldn’t be frustrated with my body right now and eager for things to just happen. Really I can think of lots of things I would love my body to do and even if it just worked normally and didn’t stick organs together I would feel amazing. Everybody is different and that is the best thing to be. Why do you want to be like Beyonce or the most popular in life? You know it’s all about being you, and if people don’t like you then just be happy with it. That is one thing I need to do, is be happy with this time and love my body more.
The UK has turned really cold this week. Well actually its probably the right temperature for November but we have been lucky with the milder weather. Cold is a no go for me. Really I have to be warm, near a radiator, wrapped in layers or in a bikini on a beach in a hot country. Being cold is not good for my endometriosis. It plays up unless I am bundled up. Even then it tries! Every morning when I am looking at what to wear, getting out the layers like vests, t-shirts and sweatshirts along with my winter coat. It’s not normal to feel this cold, but it’s me.
So it’s been hot bubble baths, hot showers and the heating on. I am even in 2 onesies for bed. Like I have mentioned before I am all for the positives and to live a positive life. It makes me so happy that it’s cold enough that I had a hot shower tonight and got into my winter aged 15-16 unicorn onesie and an adults one underneath. Sitting in bed, typing this blog post and I am clean, warmish and happy. The best way to start the weekend.
This week seems to have dragged, though I have been busy. There has been many a days where my alarm has gone off at 7am and I am not ready to get up. Twice this week I have got to work with a few minutes to spare and another I went in late because I had the doctors. But it’s made me realise why am I going in early? In theory I could have an extra half hours sleep or chill a little longer. So I think I might do it more often, the other week I got home late from floristry so cancelled my alarm and reset for half hour later and it was the best thing.
Creativity is something I thrive off. I am a natural at most crafts and when learning new crafts, techniques and ways to do something, I love and smile so much when the craft comes together and looks beautiful. This week’s floristry is my main “creativity” so far this week and we learnt a grouped bouquet. Whether it was the flowers, the colours, or just because they all made the whole bouquet look amazing I am not sure. But I was so happy for fresh flowers, new techniques and a beautiful creation.
I had to go to the doctors on Wednesday for a check up. My friend at work things I own shares in the place due to the amount of times I go. But this was pointless, I was asked to go for blood pressure and weight. Something I have never had to do before for a repeat but there you go. When I sat down in the doctors room, 20 minutes after my appointment I must add. He said to me ok we need to take your blood pressure? Me being me, was like why, I have been on this pills years and never had to do this?
Finally I also plucked the courage up to confess about my ear being infected from my rook piercing. Sad face, I now don’t have it in. It will be back in tomorrow but I have been applying antibiotic cream to it 3 times a day. Walking round with a white ear all day everyday hasn’t been the best, but luckily not many have noticed. This is where self care changes for me. If I hadn’t had that appointment and forced to go for my tablets, I would still have a manky earring infecting my ear. Well the piercing is not the earring!
Self care is all about you, what you need, how you feel and what you want to do in life. Everything is down to you and your body. Ok everyone does or should bath daily and brush their teeth and other responsible things like that. But do you ever just listen to your body and do what it says? Right now mine is saying to me, stop this and go read your book. Which I will in a minute and its also telling me it needs sugar and a Krispy Creme donut kind. Again something I can do tomorrow but not right now as the shops are shut. My body will hate me for its naughty decisions in future but that’s what It needs right now. A good nights sleep and a lay in is going to be the best for it as well.
Like I mentioned earlier its been a super busy week. Thursday we finally went back to pilates after a good 6 weeks break, due to my grandad dying, me feeling poorly and random other things. I did the full hour of workout, something rare for me. Though I have to adapt moves and that’s why I benefit from being more flexible. Anything pushing or even bending on my left lower abdomen is a no go. Instead of table top position I was crossed legged, whilst laying down. So like I was sitting on the carpet at school but instead of my bum on the floor it was my back.
Today I ache, in all sorts of places and though I am not 100% sure its purely from a good, hard workout. I just texted my mum to check with her what aches and some are the same and some of mine aren’t. To be honest though I have had pain in most of the places that hurt today so its a combination or I worked harder!
Tiredness has hit me like someone has slapped me in the face. I’ve wanted to go bed before I was even home from work and that being everyday this week. Days like Tuesday when I leave the house (or meant to) at 8am and don’t get home till 10pm are good and bad. I love, love, love Tuesdays but I am super tired from them. It could be where I stop for an hour and 15 before floristry and that zonks me or just because I am needing more sleep. But I am super happy its the weekend so I can lie in. Also happy that floristry is one of my favourite things to do and I love being there creating.
Food wise I have been super healthy, trying to only eat carbs 1 meal a day. Not because I need to loose weight or for diet reasons but for me to be able to feel good. My body loves good nutrition. Like I may have mentioned earlier I am craving the sugar right now and so I will need to reward it but go back because healthy is good and for my endometriosis it is to.
I sat on the toilet for a 3 minute meditation session yesterday because I needed to. When something is bothering you, it is good to step away and breathe. Push the positives and close the negatives! The reason for being on the toilet rather than anywhere else is because I was out in public and just needed to step away to calm and bring back the mindset.
Me time is always my favourite time of the day. That hour before bed when it’s me, my 3 journals and a kindle. I am not 100% why this works but it does. Shut off from the world. Writing down everything you need to realise, positive and negative and leave it on that pages of the book. Somehow I get such a good nights sleep from it and the next day I am prepared to start a fresh day with a clean slate.
The 365 Days of Self Care A Journal asks me the same questions daily. How was I brave, what did I feel like, how much I drank and slept. Most importantly is grateful. No matter how big or small something in everyday should make you grateful. I do have to say that I am 7 weeks off completing the book and I am ready to start a new one, but I have asked for a different book because I need new questions weekly. It’s a good book and one I would use again but it’s now just getting to the point of needing a change. There has to be a check in soon and monthly update so hopefully that will help.
Daily planning is something I brought new to this year and I am still loving it because it helps so much. Reminds me for what I life by and I can write all my feelings down ready to leave there. Writing the same phrases I life by daily is just a way that I can keep remember them and keep them fresh in my head constantly.
Bullet journals are all about creativity. Make your bullet journal, colourful and as creative as you can. Mine is all about positivity and keeping all the positives noted. Keeping me on track and I can look back now months on from my first and see how up and down things go in life and what I got from each day that was a positive. Daily writing what was positive about the day and colouring in flowers or scarves for a mood tracker to keep me tip top.
Next week I really want to just enjoy, keep calm and content. Push my positivity and work hard to achieve. Keep on the healthy eating for my body and if I need a few lay ins or early nights so be it. Also need to grab my hat and scarf out to keep me warm in the cold weather.
What are your plans for this week? Anything new you would like to practice?