How is it only 12 weeks until 2019 is over? This year is going crazy fast. My 2019 goals was a year for me! A year full of self care and putting myself first. Self care came into my life a good 4 years ago and I have been learning more and more self care as the years have flown past. If you didn’t know I have endometriosis, a disease that effects 1 in 10 women worldwide. Practicing self care daily really helps me to have the best life I can. 

Self care is so important to me because I can do things and I have learnt things I really didn’t think I could do. It’s not all about the daily shower, eating healthy and health. In fact there’s a huge range of self care to cover from your body, to your creativity and your own time. Really everyone can say I do practice daily but self care really isn’t just having a shower each day. 

Everyday is a roller coaster when it comes to having a chronic illness, to be fair anyone can live life on a roller coaster. You really don’t know what’s going to hit you in the face or pull you down until it hits you in the face. Oh hello! One thing to remember is that nobody is perfect. If everyone and thing was then the world would be boring! Kindness matters and all the things that make you smile. 

When it comes to my week, we started off bad and seem to be ending it ok. Well there’s some bad things but I will try explain them along the way. How was your week? Good, bad or ugly? If you didn’t know positivity is key for me and I try to shut down negativity or walk away from it as much as possible. Positive life equals a happy life. Remember that and trust me in 2 weeks time if you only remember the positives or think of one a day at least you will feel a lot better in that time. 

Sunday was pretty rubbish really. I wasn’t feeling good and I just wanted to be with my mum. When things play on my mind as the call did Friday. It lingers around for a couple days. Thats what Sunday was to be fair. In the end I was upset, crying and just went home, annoyed at myself and just knew me time was the best thing. Stay in bed, chill out do whatever I wanted because that’s all that matters, me. Thats self care, the days when you just know you need to stop and recharge. Do what you need to do and cry. A very good thing to do is let out the emotion and cry. 

Monday came and went by. The usual work. Work for me, isn’t everything, pays the bills but there’s a lot that really no body likes about work. My work or your work. You always have negatives and annoyance and no space. Having a work, life balance is key. You need that life as well as the hours you work. Life is so important and so is the balance. Cut off from work at 5pm and go do whatever that might be. Whether its watch tv, a movie. Go to the gym or socialise. Leave work at work. 

Oh I left work early on Monday because my elbow still hurts. 8 weeks on I gave in and went to the doctors. Now the long 8 week wait for an ultrasound. So me and my bandage support are going to be mates forever more I guess. 

Creativity is something I have a natural flare for but its something I love. It’s calm and peaceful, enjoyable and switches my mind to something I love. I put all my effort into my work and I am only happy when it looks the best. That is why Tuesday’s were my favourite evening of the week and are again now because floristry has started again and this time intermediate level. A pure 3 hours of creativeness. Ok sometimes I stick to what we are taught but others I am like I don’t like that and do my own kind of thing. Like this weeks. 

As the week has gone on, I have had some calls and no Emma not about Grandad! But ones that have given me hope and the push to smile again and be ok with things to run differently or slower. People that care and people that have passion in what they do or help people do. That is why kindness is key. Always be kind not everyone tells the full story and can hide a secret from all. 

You may know that I refer to my body as that it hates its owner. My mum always says ‘don’t be stupid’ when I say ‘ my body hates me’. Really though having endometriosis it really does feel that way most of the time. When it reacts wrong to the asparagus you ate or the next day the square of chocolate. Nothing keeps it happy for long. It is like losing a battle with you own body sometimes. 

Another reason self care is good for me. That happy balance of everything to try keep the body I own happy. Or as ok as it can be. Again positivity helps me massively. A spike of positivity and I am on top of the world and a stab of negative and I am rock bottom. 

Thursday was a really good day for. My mindset was positive and my head was in a good place. Simply one day of positivity can really help you. Good days are days that are productive, goals are achievable and you feel good about yourself. When friends actually agree with you and the peace becomes known by many. The free spirit tickles everyone. Even know typing this out I have a smile on my face for them days. 

That is why negativity and negative situations are ones to walk away from, plug in to positivity and say hello to them good people. Go appreciate the goods and positives in life because they are the ones to life by and for. Ok everyone has something negative in their life but really focusing on the positives gains you more in life. 

It was the first pilates after being back from summer on Thursday night. I am always thinking I don’t want to go before hand. Has to be the rushing from work, change, eat and go. In the space of 20 minutes that is eat, change and go. But when I get there, if its a good day for me, I work for my money spent. Pushing myself on good days health wise really helps me. Achieving things I don’t see daily and making them work. Showing me the potential I can do and strength I can grow for the future. A full hour of hard work and determination goes along way. 

Pilates isn’t just about fitness, its about strengthen my core. The left side of my abdomen that’s shrinking and causes pain. It’s the time for me to push my body and help it for the future bad days. Also helps me because it’s a distraction, you’re focusing on certain things that you don’t normally and leaving the rubbish behind. Even if its for an hour only. That is an hour of positive wellness. 

Friday of course is a day we shouldn’t but mainly do look forward to. We should look forward to every day but this is where my negativity becomes open. Everyday there is negativity around me and I can’t actually do anything about it. There is times when I can go off to the toilet to meditate or to plug in to a happy podcast but them negatives are around me always. That is when it is harder to get rid of the negatives or focus on the positives. Is that why I look forward to Friday? 

We shouldn’t live for the weekend and I know that. But Friday really dragged me down with that negativity and the way things were. When negativity gets too much that is when I suffer. Sad as that is that’s why I really try to live for the positives in life. Go for the simple things and work up. A positive can be anything. Simple as I got out of bed today. I cleaned the oven or I smiled at my phone when a text came through. Switching to them and not negatives is so good for you. My mood was awful on Friday, grumpy, annoyed and agitated. Thats not what I want in my life. 

Let’s talk me time, an hour of every night I sit with no contact to the world but my three journals and a fiction book. This is my happy time. I get so much from this hour every night that now I couldn’t live without. Silly as that sounds but I sleep better from it and I wake up fresh and new each day. It’s a chance to let go of all the thoughts and feelings, being negative and positive and emptying your body from everything. You have no one except you a pen and some books. 

My Self Care 365 Days A Journal, asks the same questions daily but some of them make you think more than others. It’s not everyday you do something brave. Or I wouldn’t of thought I did back at the beginning of the year when I started this book. Bravery again can be something simple or something you stepped out of your comfort zone for. Something like I stood up for myself today is brave for me because I normally just agreed and do whatever it is. Other questions like how much you drunk or what your are grateful for. Good to check in daily and look back at your improvement and achievement. 

Bullet journalling is a huge YES to me. I love it! Its a chance to get creative, remind yourself you are doing great and fill it with whatever you fancy. Mine is all about positivity. The positives of everyday. How I can remind myself what when I am down that its just a rough day and tomorrow will be a good one. Every night I jot down all my positives about the day. My feelings and what’s going on. What I am focused on. 

Daily planning is something I brought to my life at the beginning of this year and I think its one I will continue to do for many more years. My planner is all about my feelings whether negative or positive and objectives for everyday. I write the phrases I go by everyday to remember them and what I have to do that day. It’s a good daily reminder and a place to chuck all your feelings in for a good nights sleep. 

Reading, something I am rubbish at. If I read out loud I sound like a 5 year old because English wasn’t a strong point at school. But again this years goal was to read a book a week. Ok that has slipped but I am reading every night before bed. Some books I read quick some take forever. To be fair if I get into them then they are good if I don’t then I may as well just close it and do something else. The book I am reading now is taking me a while to get into so it is taking longer to read. But that is ok I am still reading it every night and that’s the main thing. 

Wrapping up this week, though I have felt the negative drag me down a little, or a lot in some cases. I have had a good few positives to keep me going. Creativity is something I love of course and I am super grateful that the new term has started and I can create every week. Floristry was something new to me this year as well but I have gained a talent for something new. Pilates was good too. Managing an hour of pilates is an achievement for me. Pushing against my body is challenging at times but really I need to do this for pilates is meant to be good for endometriosis. Focusing on the positives help, I’ve had the hot bubble baths I love, good night sleeps every night and I am healthy eating to keep my body settled. Even feel good today for straightening my hair. 

Self care can be anything to you really. From sleep to socialising but also time for yourself. It makes you put your needs first whether that’s to create something or an early nights sleep. Anything. Muddle them all together and thrive off the achievement and buzz everything makes you feel. Stick to the positives and smile through the tears. 

This week I want to create some more, push my body further and sort my home out. What do you want to do?