Self care is so important, especially now when life is taking a spin for the worst. There are so many questions up in the air and the worry can be unreal. But honestly if you stick to looking after yourself and what you need, it can help you immensely to be ok. Some say self care is for those with mental health problems only. When in reality, it is for everyone, I have endometriosis and that is how self care came to my life, but honestly give it ago. Put yourself first and your body’s needs and you will end up smiling more. 

This week has been a whirlwind of ups and downs for me. Honestly I have felt really emotional many times. A tear has come to my eye quite frequently. But I have also had times when I smile and see the good. Sort of a miss mash week of every emotion. 

Let’s put this week as a I need chocolate kind of week. Thankfully I got cookie dough at Tesco last weekend because that has helped me a lot. But tonight when there is no chocolate left, its made me sad. Because when I need chocolate, I need chocolate. Cheese and onion crisps, just don’t get rid of the need for chocolate. Will be buying some this weekend, that is for sure! 

It honestly has been a really strange week. I started out with a good attitude and a happy smile. Now it’s Friday night and I am ending the week with an awful headache, feeling a little stressed and tired. There is no reason for the stress other than me stressing myself out over something stupid and honestly is just a colour when I come to think of it. But it’s just frustrating me and grating on me, that it’s unfair or not right. It is hard to explain because some of my life is still kept to myself. Just trust me that its got to me and its really is giving me the wrong attitude. Some how I really need to fix it, but I have to have them on show everyday. 

As most of you know, sleep is my favourite thing. That and hot bubble baths. If I am feeling rough, in a bad mood or not doing right, send me to bed. Sleep helps me so much. With working from home I have been lucky that I can wake up at 8am. Half an hour before work starts. This week I have had to wake up very early for me and its thrown me off balance. Tuesday and Wednesday I had to do my niece’s hair for her school photos. Now half 6 is not a good time for me. When I sat down at my desk ready to work, I was on a call and my friend said are you ok? Because I didn’t look it and I just said yeh I had to wake early. A lay in is definitely on the cards for Sunday! 

I am feeling pressure a lot around me this week. One thing I hate is being in charge or the only one who can do things, the one that knows I guess as well. This could be why I am feeling a little stressed actually. Moving 100% is the most stressful thing ever, I haven’t even exchanged yet. Call them, do this, do that, where’s this, what’s that. It is all a little too much, that with working from home, trying to work hard and push myself and juggle all sorts about. Fingers crossed for good news next week. 

For me, I set monthly goals, but also have to do lists weekly. Whether that is to plan out and stage tasks or to form a routine, or reminders to tick off as I go. They just all help me so much. I thrive of structure and routine and being organised with my social media content, whilst working full time is massively lifting the pressure from me. There is such a good feeling in me when its Monday at 5pm and my video is going live in an hour, I can run a bath and chill out or do the housework. Whatever I want to do. 

This week I even sat down in front of the television and watched the bake off. I mean hello, I actually sat in my front room and watched actual tele. Something I never do. Its so nice to be able to go chill out on the sofa, watch bake off and chill out. My phone even stayed in my bedroom for half the show. Tonight when I have finished this, I am going to go back in the living room and watch the Jo Brand version. Say what? Tv twice in a week. What is going on in the world. 

The week hasn’t all been stressful and doom and gloom. Slugging through the frustration. Though the computer was loudly spoken to several times! I have had some ‘normal’ chats and laugh with my friend and work buddy. We had to split up when Covid19 sent us home eventually. If you remember I was (for about 5days) skeleton staff, whilst my friend went off to the operations department. Though we spoke over teams, it was kind of face to face and actually it has made me realise how much I miss her, day to day and helping each other through the day. 

Though I have desperately been needing and wanting chocolate this week. I haven’t really been that hungry. Some lunchtimes I can just eat a tin of peaches and be ok. That and of course my back to work ice cream around 2pm. But that is ok right, I have been feeling bloated and big for weeks. We all have weeks when we don’t feel our best or we need a lot of food. Some weeks we just need less and this week was an eat less week. 

My 5pm bubble baths, followed by a chilled evening are becoming my favourites. Getting in a hot bubble bath straight from work, really is the best. If I am home and not working, pyjamas are my thing. Comfort is key. Being able to just chill out and relax in a hot bath, sets me ready for the evening. Straight to the warmth of a bubble bath, honestly is so good and instantly the mood is calmer. 

Now the weather is getting cold. I mean today it felt like winter and it came to me, ‘what am I going to do when its actually winter, working from home?’ Wearing gym leggings, a long sleeve tee, a sweatshirt and slippers wasn’t enough, I had my dressing gown round my legs. What am I going to do, how many layers am I going to have to wear? Will be moving into my autumn pyjamas tomorrow and my actual clothing may have to stay in the layers as well! 

Finding a good book is my struggle at the minute. I need a book that gets me addicted to the story line straight away. This week I have managed to read a whole book, which is an amazing achievement for me. Now I am trying to find new books to read that will keep me wanting to read. Though I probably can read at the pace of a 10 year old, it really helps me sleep and depending on the book, I enjoy it. 

Moving my get the food out for next day, shut up shop, brush teeth and be ready for bed before reading is really helping me sleep. How I don’t really know. But not having to get out of bed after an hours reading to brush my teeth etc, just helps. I am not rolling around, tossing and turning to fall asleep, I must be gone within 5 minutes. 

Last week I planned to change things a little to help my frustrations. But it would seem they have gotten the better of me this week. Which is annoying but what can I do about it now? Well I need to learn from it and figure out what to do. The figuring out could take some time but eventually something will tick and push me in the right direction. 

I wanted to push my social time and I have done that actually. One tick at least. Making friends with a neighbour and talking a handful of days this week. To talking to my grandma, the kids and my closest friends. Taking a break from ‘work’ to catch up and laugh with my long lost work friend, over teams of course. All them have made me happy and smile. 

This week coming, I need to do the dreaded thing of chasing and sorting out things with this move. I want to live in a house now, with a big garden and a drive! Someone just make it happen please. It can’t be that hard surely?! 

Do what I want to do and stay organise. Whether I pick some tv time or playing Roller Coaster Tycoon. Well that is up to me. Either or both will do. But I have to break off the addition of video games. I am no longer 15 and really playing on my phone is probably a reason for the headache. Oh and I want to find a new good book to read! 

All in all, I want to feel good and smile more. Positivity and good thoughts only. I will be adding layers and maybe having the deserved chocolate I need and want. What is something you need to focus on improving?