Good morning everyone. How has your week been? 2019 is the year I decided that I would set my goals to have the best year with self care and gain the ability to have a better life. It’s September and though there has been so ups and downs we are getting there. Self care is important to me and has been for years now due to the disease endometriosis. Something you wouldn’t wish on anyone, one that takes forever to be diagnosed with and one that unfortunately doesn’t have a cure.
A bit about endometriosis, for anyone new or never heard of the disease. To be fair I hadn’t until just under 5 years ago. Endometriosis is something that 1 in 10 women have worldwide. It’s a gynaecological disease that is to do with your period. Not only do you have a period, your body likes to have an internal period sticking things like organs and adhesions to each other. Genuinely causing a lot of pain and discomfort. You don’t have to be on your period to have pain and feel awful it can attack you at any time!
Anyway back to my weekly update. How have you been? Good, bad or ugly? A combination is always good. For me I am not doing my best at the minute. I don’t feel well and that’s to do with pain, swelling and feeling sick. As I am writing this (Tuesday) I am about to jump on a plane to Greece tomorrow so hopefully good company, weather and relaxation will do me the world of good.
It’s a weird week for me because I am going away but because I was only at work today. I have so much going on in my personal life at the minute my brain is working overload and I have a headache the majority of the time. Something huge is ticking over in me and its like I need the yes before I can relax. Sorry to say I can’t really say anything more than that on the something huge.
I am right emotional at the minute too. My Grandad is still in hospital and I really don’t know why I did but I went to see him on Saturday night. Well if you didn’t know me I have a phobia of hospitals. Crazy as that sounds because I myself have visiting the operating theatre 5 times but I can’t last more than 5 minutes maximum in hospital. Luckily for me I am forking out a fortune on BUPA cover because I can at least be treated in a private hospital.
When I arrived at my parents on Saturday night ready to go see my grandad. There was a little panic as he had a funny turn getting up from bed. We weren’t even sure if us girls would see him that night. So we had to wait in the corridor. Who’s clever idea was that?! Eventually the nurse said yes to go in. I held onto my dads hand because I was feeling funny. Literally took 2 minutes of being on the ward before the colour ran out of me and I had to run out because I was going to be sick.
Needless to say I wasn’t sick but spent the next 2 hours in my mum’s car in the hospital car park on a Saturday night. I love to people watch so I was quite happy, its not the poshest of areas so you do get some odd ones around. My sister took me to the car she was taking so long that when the lift didn’t come we ran down the stairs. It was the hi and bye conversation and a sugar free mint in the car watching YouTube whilst I wait.
Autumn is definitely here and it makes me so happy to be warm and cosy in sweatshirts and extra layers. Heat is everything to me, a bath, a sun lounger round the pool or a big oversized sweatshirt and I am happy. I even asked for the fire to be lite at my parents yesterday.
I got home early yesterday because I felt unwell. That was after I ate a chocolate bar, though maybe not healthy. It helps when you feel poorly. Even that was in the fridge so it was cold. Had to get my mum to hold it to warm it up for a bit. One thing I hate is cold fridge temperature chocolate.
Because of how I am feeling. My symptoms are of what I would be if I was to have a period. I haven’t had one in a good 4 years. It was nice to turn the boost on on the hot water and run a really hot bath. Laid in there for a while, a candle lite and just relaxed.
Heat and sleep are the only things that help naturally with my pain. I am naturally a cold person anyway so I am freezing 80% of the time. Crazy as it is I never don’t take the duvet off, even in boiling temperatures. Right now typing this from my bed I am tempted to get socks or a blanket as my feet are chilly. The rest of me, (pyjama trousers, top, jumper and duvet) are the right temperature.
My sleep pattern has been a bit of off and on recently. Friday night I slept for 12 hours. Which is amazing for me then Saturday night I slept 8 hours. That would normally be 12 hours too. I did have an early night last night though because of how I was feeling. Tonight will probably be the same. Happy for a lay in tomorrow hopefully too.
This is when self care is so important. I am not feeling 100%, I have my problems, the worry of my grandad and waiting on answers again for me. All mashed up and trying to get my brain to explode. Its when you need to realise your body has too much on and you need to think more about yourself, what your body needs and take the time to do what you feel like doing.
If it wasn’t for me stepping on a plane tomorrow to Greece, I would be taking some time to lay in bed and feel comfy. Try feel better with hot water bottles and comfy clothes. Ok maybe I should say this. You’re thinking Mel it’s a period? Well periods are worse if you have endometriosis. Like I have mentioned before my body hates me. I would try relax a little so I can release my brain a little. Eat what I want and when I want and if that’s chocolate then reward myself next week with the good healthy stuff.
I know tomorrow when I arrive at the airport I will be super excited and everything will destress a little more. When Thursdays answers are with me that will be even more exciting. But I need this break. My first proper holiday this year and its definitely time for it!
For my journals this week, I will go into more depth next week because they are coming to Greece with me. But I have started the new month. No check ins or anything like that. Just the general daily questions, positivity and feelings.
My 365 Self Care Journal is something that really gets me to challenge myself daily. I am a person that likes routine and works well from one. Theres a few things that I have had to change recently like I should only be drinking 3litres maximum of water a day. Now I am really watching the amount I drink because of that reason and I love that I can capture it daily in these questions. Bravery I am on a massive brave adventure right now and so daily bravery is getting a better subject to answer daily.
Daily planning was something new I brought to this year. I use this to remember the phrases I want to live by. Who I am and my feelings. It’s a way of me documenting how I felt, what I go by and try keep on top of everything.
I am a huge creative person. It’s my natural flare. Something I can just do and be good at. So my bullet journal is my happy place. I can be creative as much as I want. Add colours, stickers, tape you name it. Draw whatever I want and express myself however I want to.
Positivity is something I have to live by with my self care and my bullet journal is all about positivity. It’s good to look at the positives everyday than the negatives because negative people and lives are sad ones. You need to be positive because something as small as I got dressed today could make your day better. Than the negative I only got out of bed today. It just makes you life miserable and others around you don’t need that too.
As I type away I don’t have much more to say to be honest, I feel really rubbish right now and my self care is all about what my body wants and needs. Hot baths and chocolate. Bowls of chicken and pasta and warm cosy oversized jumpers. Even typing that puts a smile on my face. Meditation with inviting scented candles as I walk in my front door. Simple things help massively.
I am going to sign off here because I want a pot of custard. Heading off to Greece and we will see what next weeks self care looks like! A lot of laziness and sun kissed skin. What’s your plans for next week?