self careIt is insane to me, that we are starting to creep towards the end of the year. A year that has taught me a lot about the world, but also myself and what I need and thrive on. Yes I am talking about 2020. My 4 years of self care experience has helped me a lot this year and I have found the true and happy self that was within. Every week I write these updates, for you to know that things can be bad, good and even ugly. That the way that I live, is helping me live my life with endometriosis, among other things. I hope that you read these and can take somethings to help your life as well. Self care is for everyone. Not just for those mental health or chronic illness suffers, everyone and I truly mean that. 

Self care is many things to me and can be explored in many a way. It is a life saver and I know that for being poorly practically for half of my 20s. There are a lot of elements to practice, explore and find out what is best for you. I have a lot more to learn but I am in a happy mindset at the minute and honestly though I am not where I wanted to be right now, life is good. Of course there are still good days and bad days but life is pretty okay. 

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Of course there are some types of self care that everyone should be doing daily anyway, like having a shower, brushing your teeth. There is also fake self care, where you have to force yourself to do something or do something that feels as if you are punishing yourself for that trait. Honestly just step forward and learn to love what you and your body needs. Once you learn that and to love yourself and your life, it will become easier and happier. 

My week has been pretty good actually. Which is a huge plus after some bad weeks. But they are bound to happen, as long as a bad turns to good you are ok. I would just say push yourself to grow and be good again, staying low and in the bad kinda days is not a good idea. 

Boundaries are something that is fairly common in self care. I actually think my boundaries are good with work, social and financial. That hasn’t always been the case but right now, honestly they seem pretty good. Even with the computer in my living room, I am not tempted to do overtime or hang around after 5. No way, I am off and ready for me time. With moving house, money is tighter and so I have had to keep a lot in play of am I or aren’t I moving this month? We wait and see! 

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Socially, again my boundaries are good. If I don’t want to be around or need time to myself, I am happy to not attend or walk away and spend time on my own. I’m not a social butterfly and some social things cause me anxiety. Now though I either suck it up and be brave but quiet. Go to my friends or visa versa and be happy. Or if things get tough for me, walk away and hang out on my own. 

I was thinking about this in the bath the other day, but this year being I have spent a lot of time alone, has really helped me and I love that time alone. Though I keep a busy schedule and would rather be busy, I am equally happy to not leave the house and just potter about at home. When I move, I can see that happening some more. Secretly I love it, maybe its the inner introvert in me!

Though this week has been really good. Wednesday I had a little wobble. Just felt a bit meh and emotional. You know when you bottle things up and one thing just makes you go over the edge. That was Wednesday for me. I do have personal goals set and as I mentioned earlier, I am not where I should be but that is ok. If things went to plan, I would of been in my house today. But buying and selling property, I can confirm, is the most stressful thing! Wednesday I did shed a few tears though, not going to lie. 

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The other week, I got really behind and it caught up with me and I panicked. I have to say that now I am about to start week 3 of everything at a weekend, week nights me time, I feel so good. Honestly, I really do thrive off of structure and being organised. It is hard work and a lot of determination. But I feel so much better for it. Evenings now, I can just run a bath at 5pm and by 5:30 I am can be doing whatever and not rushing things. This may fall into the time management rule possibly. 

I am massively into my book at the minute. In fact I am about to finish it tonight. Reading has always been a struggle for me, and something I never did until 2 years ago. But I am so slow at it, that it is making me fall back on my yearly goal. The book I am about to finish said it read in 7 hours 45 minutes. Being that I read every night, except Saturday and for about 45 minutes, it should take me just over a week right? Actually maybe its not as bad as I think, I think it’s just coming up to 2 weeks, or is it 3. 

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Journalling is either start good and end good for a week, or Monday’s new week isn’t even started. This week was Monday’s new week wasn’t started. I looked at my journal earlier today and started to tell myself off. My bullet journal really helps me, but right now I just don’t feel like writing in it, for this week anyway. Either I move it to a different place, so I see it more, I write in it at 5pm, straight from work or take a break. There is just so many good things in journalling that makes me want to do daily, I must try better next week. 

Other than that I think I have done well this week. I am ending the working week with a smile, so something went right. There is just such a good feeling in being organised, happy and hardly any stress. We will see how things pan out in the next few weeks. Because I still do have a lot to learn, adapt and do in life. 

If you put self care into the 8 categories, physical, emotional, social, spiritual, personal, space, financial and work. The only ones I really need to focus and adjust on at the minute is social and physical. The others I can tick most things off, that I believe in anyway. 

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This week coming I will try thinking more about the physical and social sides. I mean I am never going to run a marathon, because I am not that kinda girl. But push myself a bit and get fresh air and that. Socially what can I do more? Hard one I know with social distancing rules and my mind telling me things, but I am going to try be positive and add a little more communication. 

How are you feeling? What do you need to work on this week? 

Melanie Kate

About Melanie Kate

Hey! I am Mel, a fashion and lifestyle blogger from the UK.

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