Good morning world, its Sunday 8th of September and of course its self care Sunday! A chance for me to give you an update on my life, my week and what’s going on in general. Self care is hugely important part of my life and without I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today. In 2015 I started the long process of being diagnosed with endometriosis eventually in 2018. I have had to learn and adapt along the way and work with my body to do my best and give myself the best life.
That is where self care comes in. A good 2 years ago I was working with a pain specialist and things weren’t looking great for me. In the end my mum and I started to work together on pain management. At this point in my journey I was getting the usual “the pain is in your head” or “its unknown”. The management book taught me about self care and still today I am learning more about self care on a daily basis.
Though them 2 years on I am and know a lot about self care. I also can tell you things that work for me and things that don’t but I still try to practice self care daily, introduce new things and continue learning about the things I love.
Sometimes I actually think my body hates me and I know that is wrong of me to say. But when you are fighting with endometriosis, pain and whatever else it springs on you, it’s the feeling you get. The daily fight is true. How you can feed yourself with healthy clean food and be in bed for a day or so or feed yourself with junk and be fine. This can be the total opposite as well but who knows what and when it wants to go to war with its owner!
How is life for you? Was your week good, bad or ugly? A combination maybe? For me the week has been a combination, its been ok but also bad. I have learnt and wanted a lot this week. Times like this is when you really understand who is by you and who isn’t. Who too look out for and who to forget.
The week seems to have upset and kind of annoyed me as the week has gone on. I am about to go on holiday this week coming and you can massively tell its time for a break. A week in the sun is the best self care for me right now.
As I say as the week went on, but really it got to 3pm on Monday when my mum rang me from Spain to tell me my Grandad got rushed to hospital last night and that he had had a heart attack. Well, if you didn’t know this about me, I am a huge family person, if they need me I am there.
Self care for me is about me yes, but it’s also about my support network. My beautiful bunch of closest friends and my family. Things are sort of messed up with me at the minute. All part of my secret project and trialling stuff for endometriosis but I can go from fine to pain in minutes and starving hungry to stuffed in seconds. Those just being two of the random things I am feeling.
I rang my Grandma straight away, you know being old, my grandad in hospital and that it was like I was naturally the one my mum thought was the most free and can cook out of my sisters to help my Grandma. Ok my Grandma lives 40 minutes away from me and my work. So I was sorting out plans to help her.
Because I am not 100% all the time I need someone to talk to or be around half the time as well. So we arranged for me to go cook her dinner on Tuesday night and watch a movie together. What makes me laugh is that my mum told me my Grandma only eats traditional food. As I am going on holiday I don’t have much money this month, my money is on euros and clothes.
This is one of my favourite self cares of this week. I went straight from work to cook dinner. We had chicken pesto pasta with asparagus, mushrooms and tomatoes. My grandma hasn’t had pesto before so I made her try a spoonful before I cooked. Don’t worry I had another option if she didn’t like it! She did so it was all good.
Funny thing is that I cooked too much, Grandma had enough for the next day so kept it for Wednesday instead of binning it. We also had salted caramel brownies whilst watching the movie which I will come on to in a minute. I ended up staying the night on Tuesday because she asked me to.
After I tidied away from dinner, I got in my pyjamas and we sat down in the living room and downloaded “Wonder”. What an amazing film, the meaning behind it and the truth in it all meant so much to me. It was beautiful. We both shed a tear a couple of times. Remember to be kind everyone. I was being kind by spending time with my Grandma, staying so she could sleep better and feed her because she always cooks. You never know what is going on in anyones lives and that no one deserves unkind, nastiness.
Simple things as kindness makes the world a better place. This is when my heart broke and I have felt a little lost since. On Wednesday morning I got up, dressed and ate my breakfast. My grandma was already up but I had brought breakfast with me. As I went to leave my grandma hugged me so tight, clinging on and gave me a proper kiss on the neck. I am 5’4 she is 4’ something.
Them few minutes of feeling my Grandma’s worry, thankfulness, appreciation and love has made me think so much the rest of the week. I feel lost, I really do. There isn’t anything I can do to stop that feeling, of course I am worried to for my grandads sake but I just feel like I need to give love and kindness more.
Even now writing this for you I have tears in my eyes. I have to say though that of course it doesn’t help the matter that I am an emotional wreck by 8pm every night and I keep eating amounts of jelly so I don’t go over my points. Tuesday night really was for me as well as my grandma and I truthfully learnt a lot from it.
For me this week has been about resting my painful elbow, finishing my book, hot bubble baths, busy work days, organising everything for when I am away and busying around doing normal life in general. I am so tired and like I mentioned a little emotional that I just needed to do what my body wanted me to do.
Friday I literally got out of bed, chucked a t-shirt, jeans and trainers on. Sat down to do my make up and hair. I was going to straighten my hair but I looked at it in the mirror and though my bedhead will do and off I went to work. Rocking the bedhead, curls, frizz and unbrushed craziness. Even got a few compliments on my hair must I say. Just goes to show that sometimes, no effort is better than effort.
No matter how I feel I am always one to dress nicely, wear make up and do something to my hair. Appearance is like a cover up if you feel rank or you rolled into work straight from your bed. Dress to impress because girl you have got this!
It’s been a manic week really, I have tried to stay standing high. Filled in my journals and looked after myself. I was so hungry one night, to be fair we all were at work, I came home and I cooked a big bowl of pasta, Chinese chicken and salad cream. My god it was amazing the best I’ve cooked in ages.
My self care in general I really should have applied more this week, but my needs were with my Grandma and I know I am away next week. The weather is getting colder. I love to be warm and so the sweaters are coming out and I love it! Give me an oversized sweatshirt all year round. Cosy and comfy. Snuggled up sounds amazing to me.
Hot baths are good for me and always have been since I fell ill in 2014. I love them, I relax, clean and relieve pain and stress. The bath wins all the time because I can stay in there for a good half hour or more. When I feel a little unwell or down in general I have a bath. The warmth makes me a little better and being clean is the nicest feeling when you feel horrid.
Other than the generals I am gutted I didn’t do much else self care this week. I know I will in Greece because I am packing a lot of self care goodies. Sleeping, napping, chilling, podcasts, colouring, filming you name it! Happy days!
Me time this week has been a time where I have wanted to finish the book I was reading. Oh my definitely a book to put on your list. Never saw the middle happening how it did or the end to be honest. I know have 5 days rest from reading because my elbow hurts. This I am sure is from holding a book but that’s a guess.
Journal wise I have been filling in all 3 still. Positive, daily and feelings. Each one helps me in different ways and I get a lot out of them. I wouldn’t add more than 3 though because I would spend my whole evening filling them in.
They really do help me. The 365 Self care journal asks you the same 6 questions daily, each day is titled too and it amazes me how I open the book some evenings and the title is exactly what the day was to me. Or has a reason to link to that day. The book from time to time has pages of advise or home truths that you just don’t admit too. Things like this weeks “the straws”. Everyone has straws the keep hold on to, things that wind them up but they keep going until the straw breaks and you have had enough. Simple things like this are things we forget and everyone has them.
My daily planner is all about my feelings and my phrases I go by daily. Writing every feeling down on paper and shutting them off before I sleep really helps me. I get such a good nights sleep from it. All thoughts, whether good or bad, anything and its like you have released them from you and the good nights sleep gives you the energy for the next day and fresh start.
Bullet journaling is allowing me to be creative every day. Nothing about my journal is negative. Some could say my mood tracker was negative but its not. It’s a way of me keeping tracking of the harder times and learning from them. I always write all the positives down from everyday. What I am focused on and how well I am doing.
Positivity is the way forward. I hate negatives. Focusing on negatives gives you the saddest life. If you think of the positives even if it’s just once in that day you will feel better. People will want to be round you more as well because negativity drags others down into it and that really is unfair on them. If its things you can’t fix then it can’t be fixed for anyone and that really who cares. No body other than you. We will sit there or move on with our lives and continue the positives.
That is pretty much my week. Oh one last thing when I parked my car tonight when I got home, I saw my neighbour dancing on the bed through the window, really rubbish dancing as well and it made me laugh. They don’t even know they made my day but they did.
What self care did you love this week? Next week for me, sorry Bex’s its all about me. I am going to be in the sun from Wednesday and loving life. Chilling out, tanning and enjoying Greece. 3 books are in the suitcase, no iPad, positive podcasts and company. Do you recommend any self care things to practice?