Hello everyone, its Sunday morning and I am here to fill you in on my week. How self care has helped me. What I have learnt and what I have struggled on. We are wrapping up week 33 of 2019, that seems crazy to me. It really does. How are we about to head into autumn?
Self care is a huge part of my life and without it I would be a big emotional, unwell wreck not coping or even thinking of moving from my bed. I have a disease that effects 1 in 10 women worldwide. That is called endometriosis. There is no cure, I have it for life and I can suffer daily with chronic pain, discomfort and emotional strain. Other days I can be completely normal. Practicing self care really helps me to live a normal life. Some say I am strong, the strongest women they know. I personally just think my body hates me and though my disability and illness is invisible, the impact it has on daily things is huge!
How has your week been? Good, bad, ugly days or a combination of them all? For me I would say my week hasn’t been the best. Really I want to describe it as a bad week, an off week. A flare up possibly and that is where endometriosis really is forcing my decisions. Self care massively helps in a flare up, when you are preparing for an operation, procedure or knocked off your feet. I guess you could say self care really helps me prevent the worst outcome possible. Without it I am unwell for longer than I need to.
There are always good points in everyday and you should always find them because living a positive life is the best way to live! It can be something really simple and little as I got out of bed today or had a shower but it can be something that really helps improve your spirit such as a clean healthy diet or having fun with friends. Be grateful for yourself and what you have, the people you have round you and absolutely anything else. Someone else is always worse off than you can be!
Due to not feeling my best, I have been doing what my body wants and needs. I have to admit I have walked in from brushing my teeth most mornings in my underwear and am super happy with my beach body ready for Greece! Normally I am not body confident, I was a lot heavier about 5 years ago and so I have the extra flab on my tummy still though I am now a UK size 10. It amazes me that just 1/2 stone loss has put me in the best shape. When I am feeling poorly or just down in general life around me can really affect me.
Negativity has been round me all week and as I type this up on Friday night I can just say I have had enough of it and if I was to be carrying on in that situation this week I would be up for an argument or tell people to shut up! Not that I am being horrible or anything but its because I am not feeling the best, I need my positive calm zen and who really cares if human error happens or whatever else doesn’t work because the reality of it is that you are here in the world, you are in certain situations because you have to be and you are better off from them situations so if it takes longer to do something so be it!
It has been a week of early nights, I have been asleep by half 9 at the latest. Really don’t know why I am so tired but sleep is so important to me. I’m so ready for a lay in tomorrow! That is if my neighbours argument doesn’t go on all night! Sleep is one of the best things for me and my endometriosis. In the hierarchy of my self care routine or practices I would rank sleep 1st or 2nd to be honest. My body naturally needs sleep, its not because I am lazy I promise.
I have been clean eating for about 5 weeks now and dieting but this week due to the run down, unwell feeling I have been craving bad food, treats and junk food. On Wednesday it was raining and I was at work and all I wanted (to be fair I still do now) is my mum to bake me a fresh chocolate cake to have with custard. Even brought a slice at work of Victoria sponge for £1 and it was nothing compared to some chocolate cake. Still waiting on it!
On Thursday I had to leave work to go get my sister when I stayed with her for 3 or so hours all she has is junk food, sweets and chocolate and a couple packs of biscuits. I ended up going home with a whole bag of pick and mix and some boiled Fruitella sweets. Hunger has been my problem this week. So much so that I am eating boxes of dates and cherry tomatoes for a snack in the evening.
Going food shopping hungry and in the rain is not the best idea. I went this evening straight from work and brought a pizza for my tea, the plan was to leave a bit for lunch tomorrow but no it tasted the best thing I have had in ages that the whole pizza was demolished. Back to being good tomorrow. Though saying that when you feel unwell the best thing for you is what your body wants and needs. Eat balanced.
My new addiction that has become part of my daily routine is spider solitaire. I really don’t know why but I have to play about 10 games a day. Its good for my brain and keeps it working longer and more efficient. Can you say playing cards is part of self care? Possibly you can because it would be the same as playing a board game or playing with clay.
Some symptoms of how I am feeling would say I was run down. I have ulcers in my mouth and they are painful as ever! Super tired and a little emotional especially tonight. Others would say its my time of the month but I don’t have a period due to medication. Or its just a good old kick in the face by my body knocking me back down to reality.
Flare up weeks are where I need to be super careful. Really I should eat clean and healthy. Split up tasks so I don’t overwork my body. Rest as much as I need. Wear my glasses to concentrate, long hot bubble baths to soak and relieve pain. Try to anyway! Do things that I want to do and like to do and just simply take extra care of myself.
The weather is like it should be November right now not August! Its cold, stormy and we are meant to be getting a months worth of rain in one day. It has been raining most of this week which doesn’t help me. As much as I love heat and being layered in jumpers and blankets, rain is depressing, the grey dull skies and the miserable rain that doesn’t stop all day. Probably why I have been going to bed early.
Me time is a top self care for me to practice. I love the time when its an hour or so before bed and I turn myself into just me and no electronics. My journals are one of my favourite things in my flat. Wouldn’t really be bothered if I didn’t have a tv or foot stool. Just happy with my journals and my coloured pens.
Due to going to bed early I haven’t been reading as much. I am fulling into the storyline of the book I am reading now its just not grabbing my attention to read it. There is something to it that makes me want to read more, its just not jumping at me to read it. Maybe that is because I have gone from reading nothing all the time to reading a book or two at least each month.
Self care 365 day journal is a book where I document various things daily. Its like a daily check in with yourself. How much did you drink, sleep. What self care did you do that day. It asks about how you were brave each day and we are on day 226 (Sunday) and this is something I still really struggle with. Were you brave today, if so how? For me today’s would be going food shopping alone. Sounds strange but supermarkets are where I have had panic attacks before and now I am afraid I will have another in one. I’m totally ok in them, I normally take my mum or dad with me but due to being away this weekend, I went to my local one. Apart from not being able to find the crisp isle for a while I was ok. Gratitude is the last thing asked daily and that is the best thing because you should have gratitude everyday and I love to make this different daily.
To be creative, I bullet journal daily. I love my bullet journal to be full of colour, flowers, fun and positivity. Everyday I write the positives of the day. Whether that’s what I am excited for, what I am determined to do or just simple daily things that are good in my day. Other than my flower mood charts nothing is negative in my journal and I want to keep it that way.
Finally my daily planner, this is similar to my bullet journal but this focuses more on my feelings, tasks and achievements. Jotting down my feelings before bed helps me have a better nights sleep. Whether my feelings are good, bad or a combination they all go in there. I have about 10 simple phases that I live by daily. Stupid little ones that are relevant to me and ones I learnt when I first found self care. Writing them daily just helps me to remember them and life by them.
Tonight when I got home, its felt like a long week. I had unpacked my food shopping and once again I forgot the blackcurrant. That was it, I felt really useless, emotional and a failure. There are a few secrets that I am keeping secret and those come into play with how I feel and about the future. Nothing was wrong really I just had had enough of bad weather, negativity and by doing something alone I didn’t pick the blackcurrant up. With the weather I didn’t feel like filming and with bullet journal videos I use the natural light as much as possible. Filming is now being done in the morning as well!
That really sums up my week. We are ending it feeling a little emotional and run down though I am sure tomorrow’s overnight stay will help and cheer me up. It has been ok really, I have had my favourite bubble baths, extra half hour or so sleep daily, eat sort of healthy and balanced but realised when my body was screaming for more. Rested because of feeling unwell and pushed through the negative with my positives.
Do you have anything planned for next week? It will be a long weekend for me in the UK and I have Friday off now as well due to an appointment, so super long. What do you want to concentrate on in your self care routine? I really want to be able to find a good podcast for bath time, one with a nice calm neutral voice, relaxing and chilled. Plug in more when it’s somewhere I can’t escape the negative. Fearne you can be my friend next week. Start getting holiday ready. Make sure the clothes are right and have enough , etc. Most importantly I want to be happy, healthy and positive. That is all that matters.