It’s August already, its Sunday and that means I am back with my week 31 update, to update you with lots of self care and my general lifestyle. For all the new people out there, hello I welcome you and let’s just say my 2019 resolution and goals was to do the whole of the year learning and practicing self care. Self care is huge to me and as I have a chronic illness endometriosis, it is some I have to practice daily.
How has your week been? Good, bad, ugly or a combination of it all mashed together? For me I am borderline ugly but mostly I am poodling along with an ok to bad week. You know when your needing something and reasonably needing the support for something you’re nervous and excited for, but someone/thing is fighting against your emotions and feelings to pull you down or make you doubt yourself. That is how this week has felt.
This week has been all about me and by that I mean thinking about myself, my needs and what my body wants. It is hard to do this because sometimes but body hates me and attacks me but I am also finding it hard to keep my positivity high and not let others ruin my good zen and mindset. My little voice that lives in my head likes to pipe up too when negativity pulls me further down.
One thing I hate is fighting for my needs and my case for the attention I need right now. I can be crazy high, buzzing with excitement to the next getting mixed messages leaving me confused and emotional.
I somehow hurt the inside of my elbow this week. We don’t know how or why, possibly to do with hay fever, where I am extra flexible or because I lay for 40 minutes reading every night. Even now though the pain is better I have a hard lump just above my elbow crease. It’s really odd. Ended up wearing an elbow support and trying to find a comfortable place to rest it because the pain was so bad. The pain is improving though over the week which I happy with!
Tuesday I did my final pilates class for the summer. Because I have been super healthy eating and watching everything, adding positivity everywhere I can, I managed the full hour and I pushed myself really hard. It’s really rare for me to complete a whole hours session without feeling pain or not being able to do the move due to pain.
When you haven’t been able to achieve something like the full session of pilates it really does make you appreciate your good days. Think of the good in everyday and look on the positive side. If you are unwell on the hot summers day, appreciate the rest and sleep you need. Appreciate that you are getting paid even if things don’t go right or take longer at work. You can definitely find a good in everyday, even on days you never want to remember.
Thinking of myself all this week, has sometimes made me feel sad and upset. I have things going on in my life and for myself only that I really am learning to get the right support around me. Today I filmed a video about self care for my bullet journal (will be up on Wednesday) and I saw a picture of friends and it just made me smile. Happy and loved. Support is something I hugely need right now, not because I am unwell or feeling emotionally unwell but because of something I am about to adventure into. That adventure has to stay a secret sorry, but it has also been something that I learn I hate fighting for the attention I need.
Friends are something I have few of, but this week or month I have learnt a lot about friends and who to be around, who loves me when the bad is around but laugh with me when we are having fun and are excited for me even if the decision isn’t something they necessarily agree with. As I grow up and learn a lot about myself, my self care and life I learn that I don’t need 100s of people and I am happy with the few I have close to me.
Work and life balance is a must for me. I have especially learnt about that this year. I love my home time, my friends, pilates, floristry college and family. Because we spend most of our time at work we need that balance. A busy life is really good for me but I also need that time when I can just lay in my bed or mop the floor. If I spend 37 hours with people a week I want to spend more with my closest people. Forcing things its just not ok for me, sorry an all but I have to have my positivity and my fun with my favourite people and things. You know I am not sure I even know someone who can say I love my job I want to spend all my time there and in that environment. Do you?
That balance is something you need as well. Even if you don’t think you do. Your body does and so does your health. I have really learnt that this year and maybe towards the end of last. Don’t bring the stress home its not worth it. Go have fun and enjoy work and the people do it but enjoy those close to you and the time with them, the time doing things you enjoy.
Me time is my must, I love it. I have been glued to reading this book which is probably why I have hurt my elbow but I love the wind down time, I love my bullet journal and doodling in it. My journals and my well being are a huge part of my life and have been for 7 months. It is good for you to note the positives. Note the way you feel and what is going wrong or right in your life.
My self care journal has been talking about things that are better out than in. How children express themselves however and it’s all ok. Our thoughts and feelings that are stirring around in our head really can be portrayed in the way we act and are. There are many things in day to day life that will help or force themselves on your mind such as music we listen to, sports we play and words we write. Everything has an impact on our mind.
Bravery is something I need to work on. I can never find what to write on a daily basis for bravery. To be fair today I can tick off I did my food shop on my own. Something huge for me which could be tiny for you. Supermarkets have been a trigger for me and anxiety for the past few years, I don’t know why so this is really important and I am proud of myself that I wrote a list, stuck to it, pushed through my fear and did my food shop. No panic attack in site. Needless to say Mum you are not off the hook I don’t want to do it on my own weekly yet but its a step in the right direction.
Feelings are something that if negative can mess with your day. By jotting them down daily I really get a good nights sleep and can forget about the negative feelings. A fresh start for a good nights sleep.
Pain has started to creep up on me the last few days and that does make me sad and scared. Another reason to appreciate the good days. Painful days are the days when I just need a little extra time in my hot bubble bath, an extra half hour sleep and really good healthy food. That is probably why I feel worse because I am on weight watchers but I have eaten cake and junk for the past 2 days. You know when you want a treat and you still add them to your ww app but then your body stabs you with the pain for it. Thats me right now.
Next week is going to be a strange one for me, I can’t really tell you much more than that but I really hope for a positive, supportive and good week. I want the best opportunities and the courage that sometimes is forgotten. Bubble baths, a clean flat, doodling, creating, me time, everything. Even plug in to more podcasts. Anything positive I am there! Healthy eating definitely has to be back on the cards and fingers crossed this pain goes away, its horrible having a sharp stabbing pain to your left abdomen.
What do you have planned for this up coming week? Or what would you desire it to be?