Self care is for everyone. Not just for mental health or chronic illness sufferers. Honestly, self care came into my life a good 4 years ago and has helped me for the better. You may or may not know this but I have endometriosis and life can be extremely hard, but I really have to thank self care for everything its taught me these last 4 years. I wouldn’t be who I am I today without. If you are new to self care then it will be tough to start with but eventually it will just be life and completely normal to you. Every Sunday I bring my weekly update to you all because I hope it to help or inspire others.
Life can be hard and this week I may have felt that struggle a little. Maybe more than I have in a long while. Endometriosis likes to stab you in the back when you are feeling amazing or just because. I have felt really sick this week, not been sick but oh my its awful feeling nauseas day in day out. Days when I feel that sick I am rough. Nothing will help and eating is the least amount of time to cook sort of foods. Microwave rice and things like that.
With nausea comes pain. Oh fun! The feeling of being stabbed and punched, but stays for ages really does effect you. That’s where self care comes into play more and why it’s important. Knowing more about what my body needs and wants has made me think twice about certain things and improve the pain and nausea.
I only worked 4 days this week and them 4 were still from home. The new normal. A lot of people are hating working from home, the isolation etc. But for me I am living my best life except the pain and nausea. Being a true introvert this is amazing for me and my mindset is amazing from this time. If we have to go back then it will be hard for me.
Starting the week feeling really sick is what has made me change a few things towards the middle and end of the week. With breakfast being the best meal for you in the day I have swapped my banana and berries to a breakfast bake thing. Basically I have scrapped my lockdown diet and started again. Swapped a few things and the only reason I have done this is purely for my endometriosis, my body. I guess I have took the rough patch as a reminder that I went off track a little and now I need to get back to healthy. Just because I know my body needs this and that is what self care is about. You, what you love, how you want and what your body needs.
Hot bubble baths are my go to for pain. I love hot bubble baths. Heat really works for my endo. So it has been a can I leave my hair wash one more day and have a hot relaxing bath instead? Really I wash my hair a day before it needs on some washes. So it’s ok for me to leave it another day. Some days when the pain is worse I just need that heat to keep the pain ease a bit.
Even with the weather being that little bit colder has been perfect for me to have long pyjama bottoms on and oversized cardigans. Perfect snuggle weather! I guess I love heat but I also love layers. Layers though they just give me warmth but not healing like a bath or hot sunny beach would. And I am not about ready to sit on a plane for a couple hours in a mask thank you. The bubble baths will have to do or the heat packs.
If you didn’t know I am in the middle of buying a new home, fingers crossed things all fall in place and go to plan. 100% can agree now that the whole moving process is stressful! And maybe more so during a pandemic. I don’t remember buying this flat, to be even a bit stressful. The moving stress must be my only thing pulling my mindset down lower which isn’t the best. But hopefully will improve once moved or exchanged at least!
On Wednesday I took the day off because I was finally allowed to go see my hopeful new property. With the whole nausea and that I decided to join my parents at Marks and Spencers for the weekly food shop. The first time since lockdown, so 4 months. Wow! If you didn’t know this, supermarkets are scary for me and before this pandemic, I was trying to overcome my fear. After my operation two years ago, supermarkets were one of the most places I would have a panic attack.
I didn’t necessarily have a panic attack in Marks and Spencer’s because I made it out alive and didn’t have to do a game of supermarket sweep. But it stressed me out. Seriously I am not stepping in a supermarket again for a long while. If you were in there you really wouldn’t of thought we were going through a pandemic. Honestly no one around me was following rules. I’d be looking at something and someone dashes in and grabs what you are looking at. That is definitely not 2m, not even 1m away! A crazy place to go right now.
For the last few weekends I have been up to the new property to show my mum or to have a nosey update through the windows. I became really anxious around lunchtime on Wednesday about it. What if I don’t like it inside? The pressure of solicitors and naggers, I am doing this alone and its pretty big, I am that mad person that is buying this property off plan. But I guess it all just came real on Wednesday, that the big old space is potentially going to be mine. It is pretty hard to measure a window by myself, so I had to get my dad to help me after he’d been round the property on his own.
When you look in a room and you don’t expect the shape or the random corner in the room. It comes at a surprise. Due to the panic in me and worry have I done the right thing? The rest of the day was off for me. So much ran through my head. Where would the cupboards go? General things as well because the fridge door wouldn’t open. Working out furniture placement was running wild in my mind.
In the end I could feel my anxiety ticking and I just had to stop. It was all too much and I didn’t know what to do or think. Now though I am totally fine and back on the happy new home, new chapter life. For the first time though in forever, I had that knot in my chest and an ache. Which really is all the stress and worry for moving. The panic of what am I meant to do with the pointless in cove. It has gone now and I am happier.
Last week I set the goals of being organised and actually writing posts when I should be. Sounds easy but its not when you work at home, sleep at home and everything is at home. For weeks and weeks I have struggled to leave the work computer at 5pm and go to the Mac to write. The motivation just goes. This week though by 8pm Monday evening Thursday and Friday’s blogs were written and scheduled. Which is amazing and it’s Friday now and I am just writing this. No panic to write the night before and I just feel so much better for it.
Reading wise, it’s not been every night because I end up doing something or watching a lipoma extraction on youtube. But I am 3/4, if not more way through the mind space book and its so good. Will try finish that by Sunday night, which is doable. Self care books are ones I would recommend when you need a break from a novel.
Self care really has been based around my endometriosis this week and that is totally ok. My body obviously needed it and does still. I do really try to stay positive and focused, hence why I stopped what I was doing to get the anxious, worried mind back to good. It is good that I have learnt to know that my worrying and anxiety is natural but effecting me. So I took myself away from that situation to try unwind and relax. Let my heart pump without the ache, slower and stronger.
Week in, week out you can always learn something, even if it’s just a kickstart back to healthy. Think of something you enjoy and set some time to do that. A bad week is always a good thing, because a better one is to come. Positives can be found in every situation and simply learn from them, concentrate on them and move on. If I am going to be in pain then when better to do so, than when I am working from home.
This week coming I just want to continue the motivated, organised schedule I have started again. I really want to be able to stay focused and my good mindset be present and growing strong. Got to stay on the healthy balanced diet to give it a chance to help and of course a hot bubble bath. Maybe some time to myself, say 15 minutes just to meditate. When I was tight chested and panicking, I really focused on my breathing and it was swallow. So I feel I should work on that a little.
What about you? Do you need to focus on anything in particular?