How is everyone doing? Are you good, bad, ok or just a mixture. You know life can get really hard at times and I can personally say yes its tough! Self care is so important to me. I have to look after myself and my body to enjoy a better life. By that I mean because I have endometriosis and it can effect my day to day life, I have to learn and teach myself to help my body’s needs. One day it could be going for a walk in the sun to the next sleeping and laying around all day. It’s all self care and ways I have to live for the best life I can have.
I decided my 2019 goal and I guess resolution was to do 365 days of self care and with that I share weekly updates with you about my life and what self care has helped me etc to get through the week. It also can show you a little about how I live with a chronic illness called endometriosis. I also try to have as much positivity around me and I can easily be pulled down by negativity around me.
To be fair I believe that a mixture of good, bad and ugly days are actually ok for you. You know everyone can and does have bad days. Theres always times where people want to forget that happened or move on to better things. That is when we have to remember that bad and ugly days happen to everyone around us. We need to nourish the good days and enjoy them.
As I type this out, I can definitely tell you this week has been good. You know I have had sometimes when I am right but others pull you down or make you feel bad. I have had days when I didn’t feel right and days when I felt good. I have also had days when I was having a rough day but naturally switched it to a good. To be fair most have been like that. But the bad times have reassured me that I am picking the right decisions. Decisions I can’t say at the minute but ones that feel good and right to me.
Starting off the week with Monday, work as normal. Why did someone invent a 5 day working week? I am sure people would work better with a longer weekend and shorter week. But there we go. Where the weather has been hot and around 25 to 28 degrees, I have had to wear my glasses more. Purely for headaches. It’s got to be from the heat or that I am tired. But wearing them especially at work really helps with the computer.
It’s so close to my holiday and though I am staying at the same weight, I am bloating and swelling due to health, that I decided to rejoin weight watchers. Just through the app. Sorry but I am not the social butterfly to go to weigh ins and have people watch you get weighed. My down fall at the minute has to be them puddings you put in the microwave with custard for a minute and Nutella. I did weight watchers around 6 years ago I would say and lost a huge amount. Since then I haven’t really put it on.
When I am at my worst health wise, I tend to eat less or eat whatever and the weight drops anyways, which really doesn’t help when I am good. I still think I can eat a little more or a jam doughnut and it won’t matter. But in reality I am not one of them girls who can eat shed loads and not gain weight. I have set myself a goal of a stone by the time I fly to Greece. But who knows if it will work.
To be fair I picked the worst week to join. Tuesday I had the worst day and I was feeling rubbish from the negative and challenging times that happened during the day. I drove to my parents straight from work because it was the end of summer term for floristry. I was in before my mum so I skipped dinner for a sticky toffee pudding and custard. As long as I stick to my points then I will be ok. Needless to say when we were handed lender chocolate at floristry I gave mine away to my friend.
Tuesday’s floristry class, has to be my favourite. It’s the first time I have took the change to be more creative and do my own style rather than copy the teachers. Obviously I used the same box and flowers I just did my own thing to them. I think it was also exciting that we were doing something very new and trendy. We were making hat boxes. We were taught to do the arrangement with the lid propped at the back of the box and as much as I loved that I really felt that I was keen to do my own thing. I love how we didn’t just use roses like you would see hat boxes to be full of naturally. Our flowers were sort of wild, more traditional English flowers. I love this colours that were picked for this project as well. They just simply tied in well with the green of the box and selection of foliage tied it all together. I have in mind to do two more of these but different for up coming events.
To be fair this week has been pretty chilled. Especially evenings. The usual bubble baths, face masks, laying around watching tv or my iPad. But something that is really helping me at the minute is me time. I love that hour before bed. I am naturally a slow and not a very confident reader. To be fair if the book doesn’t interest me by page 25 I am done with the book. I picked up some new books last weekend and started one off this week. I am 100 pages in and I have been in tears already but also amazed by the storyline. When I look at even now sitting next to me I think wow why did you pick such a thick book to read. It looks like the size of 3 books together. I can’t wait to carry on reading it tonight. Not to give any spoilers but if you want to read it its The Horse Dancer by JoJo Moyes. Its my first book of JoJo Moyes I have read but will definitely buy more of her books when I need more.
Along with my reading I have been filling in my daily planner and 365 Days of Self Care Journal. This week the book has been talking about an stress-busting plan. Stress is really bad for us and it’s all about creating a plan to escape the stress. It leaves 5 lines to fill in for your stress-busting plan. We can all dream that winning the lottery will help up massively. Trust me it actually would help me but I have also wrote things down that I can see happening. Like if I am stressed I am not one to go for a long walk in the countryside, but for me if I went and did floristry for the day, or and sort of creativity to be fair would help to break the street. But if I had to break it forever more I would have to think very hard on what to put. I have put some good ones down, like finding love in my own happiness and spending time with what I like doing. But I also have put down some that are really I need to and want to happen. The 5th one I’m still working on the thinking for that. Lottery is one, all I can say is least I brought a ticket for the month. So I have a better chance to win than those dreaming to win without a ticket!
Not only my daily planner and journal, this week I have started a new bullet journal. Its all to do with positivity, tracking my mood and my life. But it’s a way I can put my creativity down on paper and write down my gratitude. I am quite often stopping what I am doing around half 8, quarter to 9 because my book is calling my name to read. I was always rubbish at English at school and to be honest in the first couple of years of secondary school my mum had to write me a note to tell the English teacher I found it hard to read aloud so could she skip me. Maybe that wasn’t the best idea I had but least I felt better for not reading like a 5 year old.
I ticked off the first on my bucket list this week. I went to the local street food market with my dad. He likes street food style and so do I. Do you see why I shouldn’t of started my diet this week yet? Everyone raves about this market, though I am now thinking its a festival but anyway. I was a little disappointed my everyones good vibes about it. To me a street food festival would have cuisines from round the world. Don’t get me wrong there was bbq, Italian,Turkish, American and Chinese. Which sounds a lot on paper but it wasn’t. I was thinking there would be noodles and curry, fish and chips a complete variety. We ended up with dim sum, somehow I got my dads and he got mine but we shared. I also then treated myself to some churros. Which were amazing.
I felt good, like really good when I got home from street food. I don’t know why. Was it because it was just time with my dad, good food, directing us to the place without using a sat nav, or purely because I had a rubbish day and though I thought I was doing right, I was made to feel bad and I overcame that with a massive high positive time. I really don’t know. It could be a mixture.
It just goes to show that you can turn a rubbish day into a good one. I remember Thursday as going out with my dad and trying a new cuisine. I don’t say Thursday I was let down by doing right. Thats how positive really helps me. There is always a positive in everyday even the bad ones.
I have come home tonight from a chilled sort of day, though busy doing my own work. The living room has a pile of flowers, beads and you name it else out on the rug for me to organise for Nellie’s party, I have a pile of clothes I need to put away after I have typed this so I can film a GRWM tomorrow. But all that matters right now is I feel good. I feel like I have some how found a way to concur my wish of not letting negativity get to me. My escape is 2 friends at work where I can moan too. But I am thinking of the positive. I don’t really care as long as the negativity doesn’t stick to me like slime. I have some how managed to leave it where it belongs and have faith in what I am trying to achieve.
I feel good though, I wasn’t hungry when I got in so I grabbed something I wanted to swap over at Hobbycraft and headed over to the shop. I then still didn’t feel hungry so cooked a low point dinner and will eat something after I have had a shower.
This week has been a good mix of bad and good. Or bad days turning into good ones. Positivity is definitely the way forward. How negativity effects the surrounding area and people really doesn’t put a downer on the day. But as I have this week, I have switched or left the negative behind and focused on the goods.
I have started each morning with a big stretch and meditation session. Wore whatever I fancied to work and chucked my hair up in a bun. You can say to me but Mel that’s not making an effort. But really to me, all that matters is I feel good. I am coming back to my comfort, which is my bed mostly but my home and I am smiling. I haven’t let the bad parts enter my front door. I am all for pyjamas whenever I am home, a good hot bubble bath, a lite candle, a clean tidy home, crystal healing, heat packs and good clean healthy food. But sometimes the occasional treat is ok. I am focusing on a clean diet for the next month or 6 weeks so I can wear a bikini and feel good. To be fair I don’t care what anyone thinks I look like, as long as I feel confident and happy in a bikini that is all that matters.
Self care to me is everything I have just mentioned but also the bad days when I just lay around in bed and listen to my body. My god I am ready for a lay in tomorrow and I know it from this headache and how I feel. I am grateful for days when pain is unbearable because this lets me appreciate the good days more. I am glad my body tries to make me afraid of things because I try to push through and do the things it doesn’t link. Only to what I can do obviously, this girl clearly won’t be running any marathon, not even to my car probably.
I live life with a body that hates me. That sounds harsh but its true but it gives me the chance to gain strength, fight and have amazing duvet days and long hot bubble baths. Turning negatives to positives is truly the hardest thing. If you have been following me this year you will know I have struggled massively but week 27 is ending and I am saying we have got this! Come on!
What is your favourite part of the day? Is your self care 24/7 or just as and when? Is there a certain part of self care you would like me to talk about more?