Hey how are you? It’s self care Sunday and that means it’s time for a new weekly update, chat about life and anything that just randomly appears when I type. Self care is hugely important to me. Of course I have a disease that is semi ok at the minute but self care helps me to live a normal life as possible. Ok I still have good, bad and ugly days don’t get me wrong but with self care things can still look positive. How has your week been? Full of good, bad or ugly days? Or a complete mixture? 

This week though I have had some bad times its been pretty good. Bad days are ok but good ones are amazing. In order for a better life you really need to be and surround yourself with positivity. No matter how ugly that day was there is a positive in everyday even if it’s small. Count how many positives I talk about this week! 

I have been right in my zen this week. Really calm, chilled and relaxed this week. To be fair i haven’t got my headphones out once this week for a break. Which is good. I shouldn’t have to go to the toilet for a mediation session. Happiness is them chilled productive days. 

Monday I went to work as normal, I had planned to do my housework. Monday night’s are now dedicated to housework. Though as I type this out I am thinking I am sure my mum told me pilates changed to Monday in a few weeks. Never mind. 

The thing is with endometriosis is that you really don’t know if you’re sick, a flare up is happening or what is going on. So sometimes it can be a little difficult to judge. Monday for me was one of them days. I went to work fine, started to get pain and thought ok, then a funny tummy appeared for the rest of the day. Ended the night with being sick. How lovely! Thats why I say am I sick or is it my body knocking on your skin to say hello just letting you know I am still here to hate you. 

This is where most people will see my strength because I don’t just give up. I carry on. I still did a full days work, I cooked myself dinner but my housework is another story. No one saw that part because I’ve been the only one here this week. I rarely talk about my health other than to my parents and the doctors. That also probably helps hide the invisible illness I have. LOL. Of course if I am asked about it I will tell the truth about it. But I am also helping others by not mentioning it and plodding along at my own pace doing my thing. It can be very draining and I find being unwell bad enough but when I talk about it. I am free flow on the emotions. I can cry a lake or two. 

I had a really delicious burger for my dinner on Monday. A beef burger but it had like a chilli, pepper and salt crum to the outside. It wasn’t overpowering but made the beef burger taste even better than normal. I was sick that evening which has put me off them for while but it wasn’t the burger that made me sick. 

Tuesday has to be my favourite day of the week. Floristry. It the end of term this week coming actually and that is going to be weird until term starts again on September. I love going obviously. But I also love the creativity and the group of friends I have made from it. Yes my mum comes with me but our little table of friends is lovely. We get on well and it’s nice that we all have the same interest. 

I finished reading Fearne Cotton’s Happy this week. I loved it. I couldn’t put the book down. If I wasn’t tired I would have finished in 6 nights instead of 7 but 7 is still good. I learnt so much from it and how to play around with things and feelings. Whilst I was reading a bit about the summer air and the sounds. I could just hear the birds tweeting outside my window. Things like this are just a simple reminder of the happy things, the gratitude and the love we have for all things positive. 

The rest of the working week was pretty productive chilled zen days. Simple work life balance. I have tried to eat healthy this week but the pot of Nutella keeps appearing. Just a spoonful or two won’t hurt though. Just don’t eat the whole jar in one go. Then maybe its really not good for you. 

Me time has been in full swing this week. If I run out of things to watch then I will start my me time earlier. I have been itching to read and now Happy is finished I just brought two new ones to read. The daily filling in the journals, colouring and/or reading really helps me to chill out unwind and sleep better. I love it so much and sad as it is I look forward to that time every night.

From that let’s go on to my books this week. The self care journal has been talking about not being broken this week. When we hit rock bottom we don’t need fixing, we purely need love, support, help and unfolding. We should stop if we have to at rock bottom just to recharge and reevaluate things. I did a lot of reevaluating life last week. Being rock bottom is yourself giving yourself a chance to rebuild and change. We need self-compassion and self-love. Do what our bodies need to help us rebuild and adapt life to what we are now. 

Just looking back through my planner my feelings and thoughts have been much more calm, positive, happy thoughts. Simple things like avoiding negativity as much as you can, looking at yourself in a positive manner, cleaning the house really helps you set your tone and order. It could be something easy as painting your nails a bright colour and looking at them everyday because you made the effort to do something for yourself but helps you positively feel better. Making sure you put effort in to doing your hair or makeup everyday. All positives. 

A lot of time you can always find negatives easily over positives but when you are told get on with your life for example why wouldn’t you try see and put the positives in your life? Why do you feel that people want to hear that your cat died 20 times or that you have a stomach ache. You know I really would like to wave at them people and say yes I have too you can’t see it but its there. I am just being positive and getting on with my life. I am not telling you you can’t tell me your cat died, I am just saying that I don’t need to hear it 24/7. 

If you asked me for 5 positives about this week I would say, I have been creative in my floristry, I ate the most amazing burger, I had finished a book in a week and really enjoyed it, I listened to the birds sing through the window, and I got up early today because I wanted to ride before it got too hot.

Yes there are negatives but I want to feel and remember the positives over the negatives. What are 5 positives from your week? I also brought a lottery ticket for the month because I have some hope or even hopefully some luck to win one day. 

This week I want to try keep up my positive good life. I know this will be a struggle at times and though anxiety hasn’t set in yet I am sure it will by the end of the week. We will see. I will need to keep focus on the positives, love me and not care about anyone else. I am learning to love me and be able to be me and be ok with my body hating me. I know people are going to be like stop saying your body hates you. But really that is how it feels. Like it rejects me. Really I guess it just likes to fight me and keep me on my toes, strengthening my ability to push on and win eventually. Fingers crossed. 

What do you have planned for this week? Are you still hanging around with the negatives or are you going to aim high and positive?