Welcome to self care Sunday. If you are new to my Sunday blogs or blog general welcome, if you are a regular welcome too. How was your week? Was it good, bad or ugly? Or just a mixture? For those of you new, self care is a huge part of my life. I live with a chronic illness called endometriosis and I can suffer daily. Having self care in my life is helping me both physically and emotionally. I follow self care because it allows me to see the good in life, I am able to live a better life from practicing self care daily and I have a ‘normal’ life where I work full time, see my friends, own my own flat and I can do pretty much anything I want to. I have to limit what I do daily but staggering it out and using self care is the best thing I learnt 4 years ago and am still learning more today. 

This week has definitely been a trial for me. To be fair I could kind of admit to an ugly week in many ways, but I have had some really goods in this week that has made me forget the uglies. I think that mixing the goods with the bads and uglies is an ok week to be honest. It wasn’t all bad, there was some goods and that is balancing the week to run smoothly. 

This is why I try to live as much of a positive life that I can. There is always going to be a positive out of any situation and you have to think of the positives over the negatives. Staying or trying to, really helps me. The more negative in more the worse my pain gets. It’s all about putting your health and needs first. Does that person really live a happy life moaning and being negative all the time? The chances are that they aren’t and I have learnt that from changing my thoughts and feelings and leaving the negative behind. 

Since my Grandad passed about 6 weeks ago, I will admit, live hasn’t been its best. We all are sad and grieving but really we all know grandad would want the best for us and want us to be happy. We have to think of that and though words like dementia and father’s day may be hard for us this year we have to think that Grandad isn’t suffering anymore. He loves us still and he is in a better place. 

From that sadness and me grieving, I have really struggled with situations, places and people. I am anxious about things and things that aren’t even said to me but in the room or over me is pulling me down. 

To stop this happening this week, I found my headphones and have been listening to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast daily. That 45 minute clip gives me a break each day, 45 minutes of happiness and listening to what makes people happy and their happy lives. I only found out about Fearne’s podcast series a couple of weeks ago and I am really enjoying it. I play them on my Alexa if I am at home. I would recommend listening to podcasts and calming meditating music to listen to to shut you off from the world daily. This has also allowed me to get on with my important work as well. I wouldn’t sit with headphones in all day because its rude but to shut off for a simple 45 minutes do some work that really you don’t need people talking to you through and listen to happy positive podcasts. 

I had floristry this week and I love my class and floristry to honest. The escape evening of creativity and learning. I found it really hard this week because I need to practice a lot with my wiring technique, its just not flowing as well as I want it to be. It takes time and a lot of patience to make it work right. The flowers probably weren’t the best flowers either so the purple ones especially were breaking and the petals flying everywhere before it was even on the head piece. 

It did turn out pretty though and that’s what makes it worth it. The finished product. 

I also had the hospital this week. I have been getting pain just under my left rib cage for a while now. We had left it a while because I had my scans a good 6 weeks ago but with my Grandad dying, upset and stress, I have wanted things to calm a little before I decide what to do. We went in all prepared for relief, whether that is an operation or medicine. To be fair I know that the operation will have to happen but they are reluctant to operate right now. My body also does need a break from injections, hernias and 5 trips to the operating theatre in 4 years you can see its been from enough trauma. One day we will get another but for now we are going to see what pain management can do to help. 

Going to the hospital or doctors even makes me cross, upset and emotional. I don’t know why I just get annoyed. I think it’s where endometriosis though known, it can be anywhere and to any stage. It’s scary for doctors let alone me. I just cried secretly in the back on the way home and when I got home to mine, I really cried. It’s just the reality of having this and that there is no cure. You know I want to just feel well for at least a year please. There is no point talking to me straight after I’ve been to hospital. I am just better off just going to bed. 

Thursday was when I changed. I was really just quiet, lost and just plodding along. I was sad and tired. Then lunch time my friend text me to book our holiday using my vouchers. We couldn’t do half of them because of price or the dates it was, so when we finally agreed on one and booked it, it felt amazing. I couldn’t sit still, I was grinning and I was just like a child at Christmas. The fact I am going to Greece for a week for £26 I really can’t complain. 

Something simple as having something to look forward to and something that really is going to help me. Heat is my everything and I can’t wait to just go lay in the sun for a week. It’s also ticking off bucket list items for this summer. Even now writing this excites me for it. 

Friday I then booked Goga and that’s exciting to. When I look at my summer plans so far but summer looks pretty good to me. So much planned already and so much more I want to do. Being busy and having things that are exciting and planned for the future, really helps you live that better life. 

I also don’t think it really helps that the weather has been rubbish. I have been back in jumpers and boots. It’s been freezing and raining. We have meant to have enough rain this week, that would work out to be a months load. You always or I do anyway, feel worse when the weather isn’t its best. 

The book this week has been talking about encouragement as well as our monthly check in. When it talks about encouragement, encouraging others or ourselves its making us focus on the coulds not shoulds. It’s about believing in ourselves or others, with I cans and I have got this. Well wishes and encouraging our disbeliefs into believes.

By now the middle of June, I really hoped to be in a better place. I thought I would be rolling through life not caring about what others were doing, being how I wanted to be, calm not a care in the world and loving life. I guess this doesn’t help with my grandad dying but I have faith that my summer is going to allow me to change and concur some of my fears. I really want to be on top of the world and love myself more than I do today. Being in a happy place with a happy body, we will skip the healthy bit is going to allow me to do so much more and see so much more to life. 

Having the time to meditate daily and listen to good people and podcasts has really helped me this week. I am actually debating with myself to start a podcast. But then maybe that will have to be a plan for the future. Switching off and not worrying about things for that hour, allowing me to read. I finished Stacey Dooley’s book this week and it has really helped me, interested me and I have learnt a lot from it. I would recommend this book to anyone. 

I have done a bit of toilet meditation this week. I even used calm balm to try help me when I was worried and a little stressed. My escape to the cubicle because I need a wee, but also because I can just shut my eyes, no one see and I can just sit there breathing in and out and thinking of good, happy things. 

This week I have learnt that I know that some people/situations are just simply built to be negative and that you can’t change them. You can try but they will fail. This is why you need to either be able to just walk away or not let it effect you. It seemed to be stupid things as well and I kick myself for even letting it effect me. I want to continue to control this next week but plugging in to a daily podcast or meditation in the toilet. 

I have failed at the eating good this week. To be honest it was a total fail and one I am stopping and eating better from next week. I having something I need to look good for now so I need to be good. Thats what I am going to tell myself anyway. I had cake for lunch on Friday. It was amazing and I don’t regret it but I know I have had a few bad weeks and its time to reward myself with good healthy balanced food. 

This coming week I am all for creating, podcasts, meditation, pilates and me time. I need to really concentrate on myself and how I feel. Worry about what I am doing and not others. Push for what I need rather than others want to make me feel. Tick along happily thinking of goga and my holiday. 

What are your plans for this week? Are you following self care already or are you just starting? Self care is for anyone and will help you with your life. Why don’t you give self care a go this week?