So it is Sunday once again, a time to reflect on the week and learn from our mistakes. Take forward new goals for the week ahead. How are you doing? We are all living in such a surreal world right now. Making daily struggles and the new normal is rather weird. Self care has to be a priority now especially but it should be all the time. For without you where would we be?
You know it is completely ok to have a struggle day and even a bad day. Even if the whole week was bad just write it off and start a fresh this week coming. To be fair its been a pretty stressful grownup week for me! A hard week and when the struggle gets real, the motivation and determination goes straight out the window.
Even knowing that nothing is set in stone until Monday for me and my grownup moving home malarky. I have that fear and dreary feeling inside. To be honest anymore bad news on the moving front I may just cry and cry and cry! Something inside me is making me feel I have the worst luck ever right now. Nothing seems to be going to plan except the sale of the flat I own now.
Self care really for me this week has been not giving up. Getting up and working early to push forward with the mass of work I have to do. That is if I wake up prior to the alarm clock! Trying to motivate and push through the bad days. There hasn’t been a day this week without a couple of calls to agents and customers.
My pain has been more apparent this week. Of course it would be with stress and confusion in the grownup selling and buying process. I have never felt as grownup as I do right now. It has only took till I was 30 to feel grownup. HAHA! Endometriosis also loves to appear when you least expect it or just when you think I’m good. So laying around with heat packs of an evening and wrapping blankets round me to help whilst working the day away.
Having endometriosis can really mess with your plans, feelings everything really. Some days this week I have felt so sick that I literally can’t be bothered to even cook. Lunch time I ended up with a packet of crisps and the usual salad for tea. To be fair it doesn’t overly matter to me because the pounds seem to be piling on anyway. But them days that you do feel rough especially the strong nausea days, I have to just plod through and try distract myself with work or crafts.
When we end each week of lockdown, quarantine whatever you want to call it. I am writing these as I usually do but in reality there isn’t much to say. To the point where I think what have I actually done this week to talk about. Days blur into one right now and the only difference in a week days and weekends is that I am sitting at a computer rather than a laptop.
For work I was asked to present to the department this week. I am not a confident person in real life. As crazy as that sounds being I create YouTube videos, I really am not. To stand and talk about something in front of a group of people is my worst nightmare. Yes I am English and speak English but talking the language isn’t my strongest subject. Naturally I got nerves to do this presentation but actually on the day I wasn’t. Somehow it was as if I was there with the computer alone. Well I was but I had a team of 8 others with me just in their own new working space.
Definitely voting for working from home more. Especially presentations. My work buddies obviously new I would be nervous and panicking so when I finished and they saw how well I did, I looked at the teams thing and they were clapping me, smiling thinking “that was amazing”, I hope.
Everyone needs that support system around them and people they can talk to when things get tough. I really am grateful that my parents have been on the end of the phone or in person to help me through the grownup mess of selling and buying a house this week.
If you think about it self care is in everything in life. Yes there are a few things that we all have to do purely because we don’t have a choice. But everything else is for yourself. You, the person that is the priority. 100% right now as well because if you are like me you are living alone, working alone and everything alone. The only good thing about single life right now, is the fact that we can form a bubble. It was so good to hug my mum today and it was probably the longest hug I have had since I was a baby.
Personally as well, I am doing this all alone but if I didn’t have the chance of people’s help, I really would have given up by now. I have also learnt that you shouldn’t get excited until things actually happen and are set in stone. The ability to even call a friend and share our screens whilst we go through page and page of properties within budget. Getting our hopes up for me and then being let down for its under offer or a totally different price to what was advised.
Everything seems to be taking longer to do. I really do think it’s me and being let down over people’s mistakes and grownup things. Being deflated doesn’t help with anything, the get up and go just simply goes! It really is hard to just get up somedays and the getting up is the self care in the subject. Even tomorrow (Sunday) I am going to my parents for lunch just to get out the house. There is no point in another pyjama day!
Reading is something I am not good at and if you are a regular. You will know I have been reading every night mostly for over a year now. Well I think it must be the book but I look at the kindle every night to read for a good 40 minutes and tis just not inspiring me. My kindle hasn’t been touched all week. I’d rather sit and watch a pimple popping video for half hour and read and that is saying something! Even with being a popaholic!
I think we all just need to realise that we aren’t going to get this opportunity to stay home again. Well hopefully! So if some days or weeks are worse than others then so be it. Everyone is going to have their challenges through this and mine seems to be, finding a person that can do their job correctly so I can just simply buy a new property! How hard can it be?
For me this week coming, I am going to read. I mean I have to read. Even if it’s a new book! The other isn’t doing its purpose so I should ditch it right? Next weekend I want to be in a better place, hopefully with a new property on board. Fingers crossed. If not I think I may just stay here and let my buyer down.
My bubble bath is calling me, which is one of my most favourite self care things to do. I really hope you are ok and not as stressed as I seem to be. Things will get better trust me. They will happen at a time when everything is meant to be and it will be worth it!
Do you have anything new self care wise you want to practice this week?