It is self care Sunday, a day to reflect on the week, learn your mistakes and prepare for the week a head. How are you? You know self care is for everyone and by that I really do mean anyone. Everyone is living in such a strange surreal world right now, that even if you haven’t had mental health problems before, you may have some now! Not only do the mental health and chronic illness sufferers need self care, each and everyone does. Come on your body loves you when you are good and do what it needs to do right?

Self care came into my life a good 5 years ago. And actually I don’t think I would be the person I am today without it. At first yes I really did think I was wasting my time and it was pointless. But now especially with how we are living, I really wouldn’t be as mentally happy as I am in life. Having endometriosis can be real hard work and half the time my body doesn’t want to love me. So when I was on the long process of getting diagnosed, my mum and I took an hour or so a weekend to complete a cbt book, a chapter a week basically. Really surprising what you can learn and especially with pain management. 

This week, well once again I can’t tell you which day was what. Was it bank holiday Monday just gone, or was that the one before? Time goes fast when you are having fun! Or when you literally sit in your house day in day out. Thinking about it, Monday wasn’t bank holiday, I remember now. 

Though there truly is an incredible about of negativity and hate going on around the world. There are also positives in some of this. I have actually been loving lockdown, yes there has been some huge struggles but for most of it I am loving life. Yes it does sadden me with all that is going on in America with the George Floyd #blacklivesmatter and Mkya Stauffer giving away her adopted son. Not only because I have friends that are truly hurting from the George Floyd death and racism. But also because I have endometriosis. Yes I can’t tell you if I can have a child naturally or not because I haven’t tried but someone who adopts a child and is wanting to, to then give them up because they have disabilities they can’t handle really does hurt me and make me sad and cross, like many others. 

What we do and how we are as a person, towards ourselves and others is all that matters. You know especially in the way we treat people and love people. Everyone is equal and I 100% can say that I love everyone the same. It is normal to do so and I have many a friend that aren’t the same ethnicity as me, but it really doesn’t matter. We are all human beings and that matters, we all deserve to be treated right! Equally and the same. 

I am highly allergic to the outside world right now. Not sure if hay fever or Covid19 is more deathly to me. Because for sure I am suffering. Even with prescribed medication for hay fever, it’s so awful. There is a lot of people suffering with hay fever right now and it seems stronger than ever. From the minute I wake up to lunchtime I am sneezing pretty much continuously or having to blow my nose. When the medication kicks it, it does lessen but not a lot. People have been suggesting I take a spoon of local honey a day and from Wednesday I have. Let me tell you local honey is disgusting to eat a spoonful of, but I have to keep trying to help sort out this hay fever. Sneezing, to crying, to itchy eyes and a sore throat on loop. 

My sister even asked me to go on a social distance walk and take photos in the poppies. I had to decline for I daren’t go to an open field, let alone the green out the front of my flat. Some mornings when I wake up and its hot, I sit at the computer to work and my eyes can stream just from looking at the pollen fly around. Yes it is that awful that I declared enough this week, shut all the windows to my boiling hot flat, cleaned the flat and changed the bed to de pollen the whole place. Let’s hope it continues to ease as the weather stays a little cooler this week. 

Hay fever sucks, but even more so when you are like me, extremely allergic to anything outside from March till October. Some are saying hay fever is worse this year because there isn’t as much pollution in the air and the doctor I spoke to on Friday agreed. Because mine gets so bad I feel really rough from it. Snotty, sneezing and my throat has been so sore. I think my hay fever helps the situation we are living in right now. 

Work for me is what is keeping me going Monday to Friday. If I was furloughed I would have lost my mind by now. Think it also helps that I am busy and somehow feel as though I am winning more now than I ever have done. Somedays feel weird and motivation struggles are real but others are amazing and I really am loving them. Though we aren’t going back for until September at least, I would happy work from home forever more. Like I said I feel like I am winning, I can get more things done and nobody really interrupts me when I am trying to focus on something important. 

Wednesday something amazing happened but I wasn’t overly excited about it. Even now a couple days on, I’m still not overly excited. Like its real now I think and hope but with everything going on in the world, you wouldn’t think it was possible. But I got an offer on my flat and now its all going through. Just need to sort out my new build, then maybe the excitement will come. Again another reason I am loving lockdown, good things like this are starting to happen. 

Growing up and living home with my parents, I can’t overly say I cared what my room looked like etc. Typical teen I guess room messy, bright pink walls. But moving in here to my first home I changed somehow and everything has to be clean, neat and tidy. The only time it is a mess is if I am in the middle of a creative project. I guess my interior design skills took well to the open market. 

Evenings are literally me and my iPad. There is no point in me even attempting to do anything in the evening. I am just done by 5pm. Nothing inspires me other than a chocolate bar, some YouTube and tv. Even reading has been off the cards this week. Not sure why but I just didn’t feel like reading. Friday was the first night I read this week and though I hope to continue I thing the book has too much of a meaning for me to concentrate on reading it. Odd as that sounds it does. 

Self care for me this week has just been making sure that I am ok everyday. You know life really is hard right now and across the world as well. If I felt sad or a little lost I ate some raspberry lemonade jelly to cheer me up. A hot bubble bath, a little fake tan, food and chilled evenings. I quite often sit on my sofa now and meditate. It is really good to do actually and I can forget and refocus on the day. 

Thinking positively really helps me and a lot of self care is to due with positivity and what you can learn daily. When you think of negatives they drag you down. So doing all the things that help you and that you love to do really does help. For the first time in my life really I feel in control mostly and grownup. Yes there are times I can cry, lay around and think what is this we are doing day in day out? But that is self care, everything is from the good things to the crying and hitting rock bottom. It is all about just learning to not stay at rock bottom and staying more at a happy medium. 

How was your week? Have you learnt something new this week?