It is Sunday, a day of rest. A day where we can evaluate the week, learn from what went well and/or wrong and prepare for the week ahead. For all those stuck at home still. Just hang in there. We will get there in the end. Everyone is different, so what I say and do in a week may be completely different to what you can or expect to do. No body is perfect and no body is the same. The thing is the world has hit rock bottom and a lot of people, even those who don’t or haven’t experienced mental health problems are experiencing them. Self care is always important but right now we can all learn from it. 

Self care is and can be seen differently in everyones eyes. Not one thing is expected of you with self care. Its just whatever your body needs and to be ok in your life. For some it might mean you have to go on a 5k plus and others it can mean you just made it out of bed today. Both of these are totally self care. And let’s just face it you would never get me to run a metre let alone 5k. If you have to cry then cry! Do whatever your body needs mentally and physically to stay healthy. 

This week like many is one of stuck in the house. I can actually say that everyone is bored now and even me an introvert wants to go out! Some aspects are really good, some are scary and some you just never see going back to normal. The week for me has given me good times, scary and anxious times. But that is totally ok as long as I wake up a fresh everyday and do my best. Not let too much negative stick to me and plod on. 

I have to say, I am loving working from home. To be fair if I get a choice, I will be volunteering to work from home at least 3 days a week if not the full week, every week. The week just seems to be busy, productive and when I am focused its amazing. There is so much I can do and things that are fill ins, that have been for weeks because I am busy and super grateful to be in a job and busy right now. Managers always ask are you winning? Normally I am like yeh … and blow it off or walk on. Now I am like YES!!! This sort of seems like my time to shine. 

Having the fridge behind me everyday maybe isn’t a good thing but I really did try this week to be good, or better. One treat in the day time. Which was Soleros or Magnums but never mind. For my body to not hate me as much, my diet has to be good, balanced and healthy. Yes I have a treat a day but I have really just eat whatever since lockdown and now I am not loving feeling the way I am. So it really was and is time to crack down to the healthy balanced diet again. 

Come the evening though, my computer is switched off at 5pm like it would be at work. And it doesn’t talk to me to turn back on until I have to the next morning. Even weekends its just there but nothing making me itch towards doing more work. Work and home life still needs to be balanced even if it’s still in the same property. It can be hard to do but I am grateful that 5pm I have another room to sit in or have that balance still. You know, it isn’t bothering me at all being there in the corner of my living space. Evenings and weekends I am can do what I want and when, it doesn’t matter. 

Endometriosis pain has been present this week and most days actually. Not screaming pain but some days have been pretty bad. With the weather being hotter this week, heat hasn’t been something I want to use. One of my things that sort of helps is heat and no way was I going to put a heat pack on when its boiling hot anyway! So I tried an ice pack… Yeh if you have endometriosis ice pack doesn’t help at all. Just freezes your lower abdomen. 

Finally I am allowed potential buyers round my flat. Which hasn’t been allowed from the week it went up for sale. Having no one in the flat other than me to having random people in is weird. Not like I am having 1000 people round at once but still. When the agent rang me on Thursday lunch time with the “can such and such view your property tomorrow?” The panic clean mode was on and everything is spotless. No one can fault my flat over than its not to their taste. Fair enough but it’s such a lovely little first home. 

Naturally I am not a very confident person in real life. As weird as this sounds, I started my YouTube when I did to gain confident and distract me from my illness and find something I would like to do, that hopefully will grow. So when Friday arrived and I am sitting working, with nerves playing games with me. Why be nervous of selling my property right? But it’s just odd, selling through a pandemic is totally weird. Because of certain things I have been quarantined really since end of March. Not for me or my health but things I can’t say on here.

Allowing a stranger in my flat was like allowing the virus in. No signs yet and the guy never touched anything and we were distanced at all times. Anxiety over kill all day and my friend kept telling me to relax. Then came the view, flat tour was totally fine. Then he asked to go up to the roof terrace. Yes of course I said, to not being able to open the door to go back down after! How embarrassing. Thank god the buyer could and he looked at me like oh god and smiled. 

Every night I have been reading for an hour before bed. Except Tuesdays and Wednesdays because of programmes I watch. But every night I read for an hour at least. I tend to be able to read two books a month, if I can get into them and enjoy this story. The goal this year is to read 24 books, I am on 9 so I am a little behind. Reading isn’t my strong point, let’s put it that way.

I finally finished The Break last night. 3 weeks I think it took me or maybe 4. The thing with kindles I can pick a book but percentage doesn’t show me how thick the book is. So maybe reading that in 3/4 weeks was good. But I felt like I was stuck on 25% for ages. Took a while to get into actually but once I got going it was really good. Now to pick the next book to read. 

Other than my me time being an hours long of reading. I am really trying to journal daily. Just to keep track, trap my feelings and thoughts and allow me to start a fresh the next day. Don’t ask me how trapping my thoughts and feelings down helps but it does. Some how, some way I can take a feeling say “emotional” and write it in my journal. When I shut the journal and put it away that word stays there. It may reappear at some point the next day but it goes giving me the better nights sleep. 

One thing other than pain I am struggling with is motivation. Every week I film 3 videos and write 3 blog posts. When it comes to the evening and time to write or figure out what to film. It’s just not there. I really don’t know why but continuing to “work” just isn’t in me. Until the day before for blogs and I have to write them or let you down. Really until I feel inspired I could cut back to 2 and 2 but I like to make and create them for you to enjoy. So I want to put as much good content out as possible. We will see but maybe I will have to cut back or leave for a while to make things better. 

This week coming is pay day so it’s all smiles for about a minute until the bills come out. I really want to learn how to motivate myself this week. Not that I don’t know how to, just I need the energy to make me do things. Really need a week of good food and I am really hoping for an offer on my flat and or more viewings. Being a short week as well, will hopefully make its a quick working week. No tears, no stress, just a chilled productive week. 

What are you hopes for this week? Going to learn anything new?