Hello. How are we all doing? Well I hope, but if the struggle is real for you. That is ok as well. We are all living in such a surreal world right now, that good times and bad times are with us all. I especially can struggle through days. The simplest of things can knock me off my motivated buzz and I am deflated for a while. That is why self care is super important to practice each and every single day. Self care came into my life a good five years ago and I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. Every week I update you on my everyday life if I am honest to try help others and show you many away I use self care daily. 

To think I have been staying home for over 50 days, means I am well into my “new” routine. Now I know there are a lot of people that are probably hating working from home. But I am loving it. I know that I have at least another month working from home, but I am thinking more and more about what it’s going to be going back. Everything will have to be different, from the way we sit to amounts of people in at a time etc. Sort of in a way would love to do half home work and half in the office. Of course I can only wish but we will see what happens come July. 

There are most definitely days when I just can’t be bothered and really have to force myself to do anything. Others I can whizz through and I am super motivated. I know a lot of people are feeling the same as I am. We just have to muddle through together. To be fair I think I actually need both to have a balance at the minute. Some days when I am really not in the mood and it’s a struggle, I can lay for hours on the sofa watching pimple popping videos when I should be doing something else. Like now writing this, my phone played at least 5 videos to me. 

The more time I have to lay around and think though, the worst it is for me. Negativity is not for me. Too much negativity or negative thoughts really bogs me down and I tend to feel worse in myself. So days that I am working are super good. Being busy, winning orders and quoting is beneficial for the company but also my brain. Without work I really don’t know what I would do day in, day out. 

I have eaten a lot healthier this week. Which is good for my endometriosis and myself. Last Sunday I baked peanut butter chocolate brownies. They have been my daily treat around 10am. When I went to the corner shop they had one brownie mix box left so I grabbed it. Eggs are disgusting in my eyes and so I don’t buy them. It would be a waste if only to make a cake a week. So I googled egg alternatives and I can tell you with one left to eat. Peanut butter is so much nicer in brownies than eggs. If I get peckish mid afternoon I limit myself to around 10 milky way magic stars. Naughty I know but least I limit myself. 

It has been over a month since my 30th birthday and I can tell you that I had the urge to spend money. Hardly ever, in fact if ever do I have any birthday money leftover after a week let alone a month. So I have spent a little of my birthday money this week which has made me super happy. I am yet to receive my deliveries but when I do I will do a haul. Hopefully I got all the sizing right. There are some really good sales on at the minute. It does seem a little pointless buying summer clothes when we are staying home all day everyday. But I just needed to and I can wear most all year round. 

Something I never normally do, and for some reason I am not sure why. I fake tanned this week, (I promise you that white glow on my chin isn’t like that in real life.) A tan makes you look so much more healthier than you do normally. Even if nothing is wrong! Naturally I am as white as a ghost. Everyone this week on teams calls or FaceTime have been thinking I have been on a holiday for a week or two. It is actually quite nice to look down at my arms when I am typing and seeing sun kissed looking skin. Though this is from a bottle! 

Evenings this week have been the worse time in the day. I finish at the computer at 5pm and come in to my bedroom to sort things out, have bath etc. There is nothing left in me to do anything but chill. But chilling is lacking in things to do. Like I mentioned earlier the busier I am the better. For my mind particularly. Yes there are things I could do, like write a blog post or something but its just not in me to be productive. It has to be that everything is in the same four walls, it has to be, because after walking the few steps into my room. The Mac book just isn’t wanting me to use it. 

When we found out on Tuesday night that we would have to wear masks into public places, like the shops. I decided it was time to get the sewing machine out. It must of been my most productive evening of the week actually. 8 masks sewn in an hour. The cutting out the lot. Not bad and I worked out that I thread my bobbin wrong on my machine, hence why my old one triggers and stops working. 

I’ve been juggling me time a bit this week, well for the last couple actually. You may already know this but I don’t actually watch tv. If I was an outsider of this home, my home, I would find that strange as well. But I don’t normally. There are a handful of programmes I watch, the usual weekly Casualty which isn’t on at the moment. Right now though 2 programmes I like to watch are on. Tuesday’s The A Word and Wednesday’s The Great British Sewing Bee. Being I am naturally creative I love the sewing bee. It makes me want to make more clothes for myself and the reason I don’t probably is because 1 I am lazy and 2 because sometimes shop brought is cheaper! 

So me time has been at 8pm for an hour when my programmes are on at 9. I am pretty much reading for the whole hour. The book is good, I am enjoying it. Not as much as other books I have read recently but it seems to be long. When my Grandad died I got his kindle, I use to have one but sold it to my sister for £50 when I wasn’t reading as often. It’s the percentage read thing that is annoying me, I really feel like I have been stuck on 40% read for weeks. I know I am not a good reader but the last two books particularly took a week to read, this I am finishing week 2 and I’m 40% in. What is going on? Maybe it’s a long book but still! Never going to achieve my reading goals for 2020 the way I am carrying on. 

The only other thing really is that I am daily journalling again. Pretty much anything goes in there. But I like to track my mood and food. I am a food lover but food can cause me problems with my endometriosis and I’d rather be healthy eating than in pain. So the fact I am addicted to opening the fridge hour in hour out, I am keeping track on foods to make sure I am ok. Lists are a huge help for me and something to work to. Having said that I wrote ‘research taking cuttings from prayer plants’ on Monday and I am yet to research them! All my thoughts and feelings are being written down and what I am grateful for. It’s a good way to try work out triggers and good things to sort out your life. 

This is really random. But I keep thinking have I cried this week? I feel like I have but I am not sure if it was in a dream. Maybe it was a dream because I can’t remember what it was over. Sometimes I just need a cry to let out the emotion and carry on my day. My hay fever is unruly so if I could cry the allergies out that would be really beneficial. How can staying at home day in, day out increase your allergies? Especially when you are allergic to the outside world! 

For this week coming, I really am hoping for opportunities and to win in life and not just in my job. Things are easing so I want to be able to actually say sure come view my house. Or drive to the local park and walk for longer than B&Q. I actually really need to research prayer plant cuttings because its flowering and sky high above the dozen leaves. But other than that I just want to be ok. Feel ok, do ok and hopefully spend less time watching pimple popping and more productive. 

What’s your life like right now? What do you want to achieve out of the week ahead?