What can I really say about week 2? It is completely boring and yet again an emotional rollercoaster. For many it seems lockdown is causing more mental health problems than ever before. But you know what, it is ok to have anxiety, feel depressed because there are so many if, buts and maybes at the moment. You need to take self care on board and help yourself to love yourself and do what you and your body needs. It is never too late to start, I have been practicing self care daily for around 5 years. So a lot of knowledge means its just natural everyday life. However if you are newbie to the self care world, welcome, I hope my posts help you somehow.
I spend Sundays by myself, I enjoy it but it maybe not be the best think for me mentally. But I really do achieve and feel as if I love that time. You have to think Monday to Friday, I work from home. The only contact I have is text message, calls and FaceTime. Of course teams meetings as well. So time on my own is fine and I do love it. Though I am not sure that if it helps me mentally. Or it could be that I just have days I struggle more than others.
On Monday, the day seemed to get worse the more the day went on. Honestly it wasn’t just mentally either. I have been trying my best to eat healthy. Well now I can say I am off avocados and now have butterfly stitches from a knife stabbing the stone out of the middle. Painful I know. Especially when you live on your own and you are afraid of blood. Straight through a plaster and I was thinking OMG. Luckily it settled down but we put butterfly stitches on on Thursday.
Work is just crazy busy at the moment. Don’t get me wrong I love to be busy, but this is nonstop all day everyday. I’ve worked late 3 out of 5 times this week and I know next week is just going to be the same. Mentally it is good for me to be busy all the time because then I can’t think of much or let my mind take me places it shouldn’t. But by the time I turn the computer off I feel drained and honestly don’t want to do much other than be on my own and chill. I hardly even have my phone with me either. Which is bad because even with lockdown, I need to be more social.
The worst thing is injuring your hand. Though I am mostly right handed, I use my left a lot. Even to type or open something. So it is really hard. Today I did my grandma’s housework and it was so hard to not use it. We put new butterfly stitches on after lunch though and I now have my knuckles taped together. Just so I don’t bend or separate to open the wound again. Hair washing has been down to my bubble support really because I can’t get this wet. It is all fun and games when you have to rely on help from others, but its also really nice especially when you are getting treated.
So I have literally worked and chilled this week. What else are we meant to do in lockdown? As I just mentioned I should be more social and checking up on people. But my bed is comfy, so is the bubble bath and evenings fly by watching YouTube or reading. You have to remember I am in a different job role kind of. A different team anyway, so I think hopefully its all just new and I am finding my feet whilst doing other parts of my role I kept. Maybe I am just finding my feet still.
I wanted to make healthier choices this year and eat healthier. We are finishing week 2 now and up until Wednesday I have been good. Then I wanted a treat. Something like chocolate cake. Luckily I meal plan and shop to that. So there wasn’t a chocolate cake in site. But things did go a little off plan for lunches after an avocado covered in blood. Some banana bread ended up in my trolley today though and I think that is ok. Switching the avocado on toast for soup as well.
As I said evenings are chilled and I am really into my me time again. The hour before bed is literally me and my book. I do start with quickly filling in my bullet and wellness journal but then its a good 45 minutes of reading. Maybe its because I am reading a good story but oh my its just amazing. Me time is so good for you. Honestly an hour away from the world, just you and whatever you love to do. There is so much I get out of that hour but mostly a really good nights sleep. That is the important thing so I am ready to start a fresh each and every day.
Honesty there isn’t a lot more to say. Monday was a gloomy day and I felt sorry for myself. Then Friday caused me anxiety over moving and everything else that is going on. When I woke this morning (Saturday) I had a feeling I don’t get often anymore, but of an anxiety sort of headache and the want to stay in bed. I forced myself out of bed, all be it I was late. But I went cleaning, we finished my advent calendar and I had a good day. Followed by a hug from my mum which actually hugs are huge for me right now and I can’t wait for the day I can hug all my loved ones again.
This week maybe I need to focus on the social side a bit more. Not that I can meet up with anyone but to keep in touch and not be antisocial. Catch up with friends and make sure all the antics of lockdown are treating them good. The other thing I need to do is make sure I don’t overly eat unhealthy. Though I did just check the calendar and I am due on. So maybe that’s why I am craving chocolate cake so bad. Banana bread is the slightly healthier version for this week though. Finally I need to let my hand be and not overuse it, it needs to heal and it will with rest and air.
What do you need to focus on this week?