Welcome to this week’s self care Sunday. If you are new to my blog, firstly I would like to say hey how are you? I am Mel 29 years old, living in the UK and live with a condition called endometriosis. That doesn’t stop me from having the life I want to live but sometimes it can get in the way as well as other things to make me appreciate the good times. Anyway I hope your week was good. Ok at least. Self care is so important to me and really does help me in so many ways. That is why I share my life and self care to the world. I have been practicing self care for 4 years now and the beginning of this year we took on a journey of 365 days of self care. Today we are on day 128, Sunday the 12th of May 2019 and we are seeing and learning patterns, the goods, the bads and the uglies. We are, or I should say I am taking a journey to a better life. I am sharing this because I really want to show you that no matter what you have or feel you can change, or live a better life. Even adapt the life you live, to make it the best life you can have. 

Let me start by saying this week hasn’t been my best week this year. I can tell you now this week has had goods, bads and uglies but mostly bad. Sucks really but I will explain more as we go on. This is when I especially need self care the most. 

It was a short week at work and I love a 4 day working week. It’s been a strange week really. 

The book this week asked me about sleep, sleep is so important to me, it helps me energise and gain strength to push through the pain and ugly times. My *365 days of self care a journal talks and asks about my bedtime routine. This is something this year I have really taken on changing. It talks about a bedtime routine provides cues to a baby that its time to turn in and switch off, that we as adults can benefit the same way. It then gives you ideas of how or what to do as part of your routine. There is space for you to write the 5 things that are your bedtime routine. Here is mine. 

1. Turn off phone and iPad. 
2. Light my meditation candle.
3. Write in both journals & read.
4. Colour & meditate.
5. Brush teeth, take medication.

My bedtime routine can be my favourite part of the day sometimes. If I am in a good part in my book, or love the colouring in I am doing. It’s also a time where I can lay or sit and think, unwind and meditate about my life, what makes me happy, take the negative away from my body and switch off from the world. That hour before bed with no contact to the outside world, is the time I really need each day. I need that time to allow me a better nights sleep. 

If I don’t and on Tuesday night’s especially I don’t have this, it can effect my sleep. It’s like you still have the buzz in you and the people running around in your brain not allowing you to switch off. Try it this week? Set 3-5 things and take that hour before bed to do that for you. 

This week I have suffered with pain, heartburn, anxiety and heartache. All 4 together put me in a bad mood anyway but when you add negativity on top then that’s it, flare ups really flare. 

First of all the heartache is from my grandad dying. It’s really sad and of course very natural for me to feel emotional, upset and sad. As the week’s gone on though so has my feelings. It’s the way of life of course but a grandad is part of your immediate family. 

My pain is worse and that is because I am emotional, I am sad and I am run down. There is so much negativity around me, pressure to do well and all of that just puts a strain on my body. I would love to not have pain but when all that’s going on in my life right now, you can see why living a positive life really helps me pain wise especially. Ok my grandad dying I can’t really help but I think I am going to try step away from the negativity this week. Or try to anyway. 

I don’t really know why I am more anxious and this has developed more towards the end of the week. Maybe it’s the pressure being put on me more so this week. Or because I don’t have my comfort of my parents this weekend. But I woke up today Saturday and panicked how was I going to do my food shop. I remember in the summer having a panic attack in Asda. I literally dropped the basket and left the shop it was that bad. Today I just had visions of that happening again. It didn’t because I spent the day making a pinafore with my Grandma, then a quick supermarket dash. 

It all combined really shows you how negativity and sad things really don’t help me. If I could leave all the negativity behind I really would. But in really life the majority of people have to work, have people they don’t get on with, naturally someone with endometriosis has flare ups and its natural for people to die. There is always something or someone negative around you. 

Even on Tuesday at floristry, a night I look forward to, I just didn’t find my creativity working. The media we had to work with was just not my style and I went completely different to everyone else, yet I still don’t like it now as it sits on my dining room table. 

Tuesday I was a little brave though. First of all I spent the day on my own practically. Everyone was off site or on holiday, which left me on my own when normally there is 7 other people on these 2 tables. I did have 3 other people on the next project but there was an empty table between them and me. You sit there and as people walk past you just smile at them, when really you’re saying in your mind, please stop and talk to me, I need a friend. 

Straight from work I decided to remember my Grandad, I would get a piercing. Strange you may think. But my Grandad as a job, made gold tubing to make jewellery. So thats where it ties together. I have wanted my rook pierced for a while now and I am happy with it now, even if I have a bruised ear from it. 

We have had random concoctions this week for dinner. What I fancy most the time. Even if it’s completely random and something that really should go together. I even brought milk today so I could have angel delight. I am or should I say was trying to be healthy but at the same time when you feel rubbish, really you just do what you want, when you want. 

Bubble baths have been my favourite this week. I love a hot bubble bath. I can lay in them for hours. I also find them good times to meditate. Don’t fall asleep though like I have done before. Not in a long time though. Again this is a time where you can take time to yourself, reflect on your day and learn from the mistakes or hiccups along the way. 

Self care isn’t all about the good things, its about the bad times too. You need to look after yourself whether it’s having a good cry, or stepping away from the negativity just to break you from it. Eat junk because thats what you need, or be super healthy because in reality thats what we need all the time. It’s the times when you have to drag yourself out of bed and get moving, concurring fears and do your food shop even if you pick up some treats on the way. 

Really its all about what is right for you, pushing through and gaining strength, as you drag yourself through the uglies and into the goods. If you’re needing a lay in have one. If your body hates you one day, it will love you the next. Learn from the mistakes and the uglies to gain more of the good days. If I could tell you all the negatives and drop them and the situations like that I would but really some negatives are always going to be negative. Have a good cry, you will feel better for it. 

This week may have been full of bad and ugly times for me. But really I have purely been gaining strength to carry on, I could have a really good week this week coming and learn that the bads are just allowing me to have more goods in my life. It really can be anything. 

I am going to try pick up my colouring book more this week coming. I have really wanted to finish my book this week, so I dropped the colouring. But I really do think the colouring is one to help me when it comes to a good night sleep. A chance to gain the good energy I need to continue my happy, healthy life the next day. 

This week coming, I am also going to try walk away a bit more. I mean if I am about to be in a negative situation or someone is negative around me. I will walk away, go do some meditation on the loo or in another room away from it. I know sometimes that will be hard but I will try my best to do it. Meditation on the loo can happen anywhere trust me. 

What do you want to try practice more of this week?

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