Hello it is Sunday believe it or not and another week in lockdown is just about to wrap up. How are you doing? Are you ok with, struggling or loving life right now? It is such an important time to not only look after our physical health but our mental health as well. Everyone is going to have different views and ways of living right now and that is totally ok. Just think of yourself first and how you need to live. You are the most important person to keep good, in order to help others in your life. The only thing you should do is judge others of their struggles and help them I guess, keep a positive head on as much as you can because the world becomes a better place. Even right now with Covid19 around!
Self care is hugely important to me and came into my life a good 5 years ago. I have finally worked out how to work out when things happened etc, because my nephew just turned one after my first surgery. If you didn’t know I am a chronic illness suffer and I unfortunately have endometriosis. Though primarily people think self care is more for those with mental health or chronic illness problems, its 100% for everyone. Truly, I mean that. Take your time, focus on you and do what yourself and your body needs.
This week, well what can I say. Being in the same four walls for nearly the whole week. It can be a struggle and/or amazing and really it is like living on a roller coaster of emotions! One minute you are up, positive and in high spirits. The next you are on the verge of crying your heart out. Even the most stupid of things have made me so upset this week. And in the ‘real’ pre lockdown life it would have been fine. As much as I am ok in life right now and the inner introvert in me is fine. There are a few things I really want right now and that’s when I struggle.
Work is the main thing in my life right now. I am super grateful to still be working from home. In a job and being busy all day everyday. Monday to Friday that is. Actually I really think this is something that is helping me massively. Sort of like I am being entertained for 37 hours a week. But its not entertainment, its a distraction from boredom and the fridge! Really its amazing how quick the day goes and the work is flowing in and back out. Keeps me going strong and feeling good.
Is anyone else’s sleep messed up? Mine isn’t overly bad but I am having nightmares or dreams that stick to me, so that I can remember them in the morning. One nightmare woke me up and I was sweating. Luckily it was nearly time to get up for work. But that nightmare even today a few days after has made me a little on edge still. Not going to put my nightmare out here for you all but I feel like it could happen in real life. With the people and everything.
My sister works in a farm shop, so is an essential key worker. This being my second week of ordering fruit and vegetables from her. Tuesday I text in my list, various things. Later for her to call me and I pay etc. Delivery would be Wednesday. And by delivery I mean I have to go to her house and collect them after my day at work. With Denise leaving them on the doorstep for me. All sounds amazing right? No contact, social distancing.
Well when it comes to 5:15pm on Wednesday evening and your mum calls to tell you “Denise left your order in the fridge at work.” I was cross, upset and devastated if I am honest with you. See the stupidest of things just really get to me! Not only did I now have nothing to eat for my dinner Thursday, but I didn’t get a drive out to collect. Didn’t get to see my niece and nephew, at social distancing lengths as well. Me being in my car, them being in the kitchen window. Tears were rolling down my face over some fruit and vegetables.
Finally when my order got here on Thursday. My sister kindly forgot somethings off my list. Without telling me. So I really hope I didn’t pay for them things! Going to text now to make sure. I felt so good though to finally have my food. How sad! Just to be able to make up some dinners for the week. Amazing. Even made me in the mood to clean. So I cleaned the fridge out. You know when you take the draws out and that to clean. Motivation – leave me a day longer without food and forget things off my list.
Must have been Wednesday that I was really in the mood to bake. Most days are if I am honest with you. I never bake because one I eat them all straight away. Two because I never have the time and three because I just don’t. The little bit of creativity and the random things I find in the cupboards. Made milkyway star cookies this week. A little burnt if I must say but I ate them all in two days. See why I can’t bake much? Bake and get fat or not bake and diet? I was good enough to leave four for my niece and nephew in return of my fruit and vegetables.
Though I did a fashion and clothing diploma at college many years ago. I don’t draw, paint or colour much anymore. Fairly ok at drawing and that, I just never do. Or think I am good enough. Have to have the time to sit and concentrate as well. With the mishap of Wednesday, I actually sat down and drew a picture for my best friend’s 2 year old. Crazy as that sounds. It really helped me to calm down, destress and was sort of therapeutic.
The nerd that I am becoming, is really into reading right now. In fact the kindle is calling me to read at various parts of the day and evening. I am trying to leave my me time hour for reading daily. But it’s so good that I tend to pick it up at lunch or before I start the working day. Reading has never been my strongest and even now some words take me a while to read. Then when I work out what its actually saying I’m like der! How did it take so long. Books that call my name and make me want to read on and on are my favourite. Never have I read so much in my life than now. This and last year in particular, I’ve read more than I have the rest of my life.
Its so good to spend an hour on your own daily. I am not just saying on your own because right now I am on my own 24/7. But I mean I shut off from the world, no phone, no tablet, nothing but me and whatever I pick to do for the hour before bed. These days being I read for the whole hour. Read away and away and the hours go quickly. Even better, your sleep is deeper.
Finally we get to Friday and as I am writing this, I feel sad for its the weekend. Not that weekends are bad or anything but potentially 48 hours to just over think. My endometriosis has been fairly ok actually recently. But as it likes to, its popped back to say hey! Endometriosis pain is unbearable practically and agonising. That’s what makes me feel sadder and all becomes worse. Even going to make a drink, the walk is too much and I hobble through. The only thing that is best for me right now is sleep and comfort.
So I am shutting off on this post, wishing you all well, mentally and physically. Stay safe and always practice self care. What are you going to do this week, self care wise?
