How was your week? What have you been up to? Any struggles? Or has your week gone smoothly? How do you think you could improve on your week? It has definitely been a mixed week for me on so many different levels but now as I type this I am excited for my week to come. 

Lets start with the books this week. *My Self Care A Journal has been talking about the past and how not to keep holding on to the past. What happened or what was is no longer now and you should learn from them mistakes and experiences. It’s like me saying to myself I am better off without that thing. Or that I have become stronger from my battles with health. Again you can easily make a negative into a positive. No matter how much you want to do something from the past or reconnect with it. You really have to tell yourself would your life be better with that back in your life? Ok not everything won’t improve or make it worse such as health. I can’t say it will be better without it because I know there isn’t a cure and that I have problems now. But you get what I mean?

It is still asking me about how I was brave that day. It’s a big struggle for me everyday. I am not going to lie. It maybe because I am harsh on myself and my answers have to be different daily but I just can’t think on what I did to be brave when I do my everyday thing like work, cook, chill and see friends. It will get better. My youtube friend Beck, does planner videos mainly for health and weight loss. I was watching her video this week about her planner and she mentioned she asks herself daily what she is grateful for? I have that question to which I can easily think of an answer. I asked her to answer the question of being brave and next month she’s going to add that to her planner. I hope this inspires me. How were you brave today?

I am 10 days away from 100 days in my planner too. Isn’t that crazy? It is for me because I didn’t think I would stick out a month let alone 3 months. Though I have a weekly struggle, I can see improvements even if its only a fraction of one.

Of course like most of the time, I like to keep busy. I have to keep busy to keep my mind and self going. I can easy fall down the hole of struggle If I don’t distract myself and I can see that from last weekend not so good, which really put me in the worst mood this week. It was my Grandad’s 87th birthday yesterday and as I believe I have mentioned before he moved into a dementia home 3 weeks ago. I am very much into Pinterest finding ideas and creating mood boards to create my own projects. I made him his own dementia fidget blanket for his birthday present. They are meant to help them by distracting them with unbuttoning the shirt and doing the puzzles.

I gave it to him yesterday, it was the first time I have been to visit him in his home. You know me anything to do with hospitals or places similar it’s not really something I do well. I guess that’s why I was brave today as I think about it typing this. I managed to go in, for a whole hour visit him, celebrate his birthday with him and our family and see where he lived. It’s a hard thing putting a loved one in a home or seeing them go through something like dementia. It’s a huge change for him, my Grandma and for us. It’s very sad really but you again have to think of the positive and say but this is the right thing for him. It’s what he needs. I mean he has activities everyday. They had put banners up for his birthday and Wednesday he even went out to lunch with the home.

I try to meditate daily and most of the time it’s when I am in the shower or the bath. Though I would say its best to actually create a space and time to properly meditate. But when I saw this on Facebook earlier I had to share it. The wording is totally true. You clean yourself, your self care is in that, but by meditating and cleaning your mind you are clean both mentally and physically. Think of it as your washing your hair and something that has triggered you is washing from your mind down your hair and into the drain.

I can 100% say that having the meditation time and also the down time before bed really helps me. I don’t even wake in the night now. Or if I do I don’t check the time on my phone I just turn over and fall straight back to sleep. Putting that time into my routine is helping me be a better and stronger person. A healthier one. Fatigue is a big thing for me or was, I mean I can still sleep 12 hours night but I sleep well. Which helps set the day.

One thing though it’s the book I’m reading or things playing on my mind that didn’t quite reach the drain that are making me dream. I hate a bad dream. It was Tuesday morning when I woke up crying. I had been on holiday with my family and was allowed to take a friend. Don’t know why I picked Eleonora but I did. Normally I go on holiday to see her. Anyway she was really nasty to me in my dream and it was at the airport when we had, had an amazing holiday. All I can remember is looking out the balcony to the sea but anyway when she couldn’t come home with us and she had to fly home on her own to wherever she was living in my dream she really was horrible to me and it hurt me the way she was around me and what she said to me was purely not how a good friend should be. Its crazy what dreams can do to you.

That dream really made me want to go on holiday. I am loving the weather here in the UK. 19c it was today. Beautiful I went out in a long sleeve top, jeans and converse how amazing is that for March. Really hope this lasts for my birthday next Sunday.

That brings me on to what I have done this week. Other than the usual, work and that. I have finally sorted out what I want to do for my birthday. Normally I am one to celebrate go out for dinner with friends and shop. This year I am purely going shopping. I am a huge fashionista and I love to shop. It’s all I want to do this year and so I have taken the Friday off to go shop with my mum and the Saturday I am going shopping with my friend. I want a low key birthday and I just want to do what I love to do. That is purely shop so that is what I am going to do. That’s self care right there by putting me first. Even splashed out on a little birthday present to myself which I tried on today and they look so good.

This week of course I finished making my Grandad’s blanket. I also had a hospital appointment to get my MRI results. Well I can tell you if I didn’t have a layer of chub or skin if your laughing at my size 10 chub (I use to be size 16) then I would be the size of a stick. Anyway the consultant said nothing showed up which we expected anyway as its something like 1 in 500 has endometriosis show up on their MRI but it was worth the chance. Also worth it that finally I am referred to an endometriosis specialist centre. (HOORAY)

That’s about it this week oh other than Thursday when I learnt that gluten free is definitely the way forward for me. We had a huge buffet at work for a guy who was leaving after 18 years. Well me like everyone else had a good selection. Well my body definitely rejected me that evening and Friday. I am still learning what my body needs to love me and that is all an experiment trying to let things agree with me. Gluten free is definitely a tick though and a huge yes please.

This week coming is a 4 day working week. 2 days shopping and a fancy meal for my birthday shopping. Might even get my nails done. Its Mother’s Day today and I am making cheese cake. I really want to have a good week. I hope the weather stays good for me and lets me just be a positive person for my birthday. I am going to really try learn some more about my body and what is a yes and whats a no.

What are your plans for this week? What do you want to improve? Or do you have something that I should try to help mine?

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