How has your week been? The weather is getting warmer so it can’t of been too bad. Self care is super important to me as many of you may already know. But as I have the disease called Endometriosis, I really have to love my body that little bit more. I’m not saying I love or do what my body needs all the time but 95% of the time I come first. I have to and I have to take things at a different pace to some people. Things can be really different but on a good day I am on top form.
So we started the week or ended last week with what I am calling an endo hangover. I have not drunk a drop of alcohol in about 18 months. So we can tick off that it wasn’t a proper hangover, I hadn’t had a late night or anything like that I just felt as I would hungover. The funny thing which I will explain a little more later on is that my mum thinks she has felt the same this week. Maybe it’s because I was saying “endo” rather than “endometriosis” but my mum certainly doesn’t have endometriosis! So Sunday I was home and back in bed by 12pm. I was feeling so unwell I just needed to lay down and chill out for the day.
You know when you have a banging headache, foggy feeling, tired and just feel rank that’s exactly how I felt. But I also had stomach ache which is where the endometriosis comes into the hangover. I wanted junk food and as I eat fairly healthy it’s the slightest chance for anyone let alone me have some junk food at mine. So I compromised with pasta and salad cream.
When I woke up on Monday for work, that’s when I actually begun to think my hay fever was up and running again for this year. The weather is warmer, people cutting grass, you name it really makes my hay fever go crazy! I started my medication for hay fever the middle of last week, but for me to fully not sneeze, streaming eyes it has to be in me a good 3 weeks. As Monday went on I still wanted it to be hay fever, but my “endo hangover” day 3 by now was turning into a cold.
I was staying at my parents on Monday night because I had an MRI on Tuesday. But Monday was Pilates, and because my body really wasn’t feeling it, my mum said just go for the chat. So I got changed and laid on the reformer bed for the whole hour just chilling out. Haha! That’s my kind of exercise definitely. I just wanted to be in my pyjamas and snuggled in bed so that’s what I did when we got back home. I just washed, pyjamas and watched youtube in bed.
The bonus of Tuesday was that I got a lay in. Only by 1 hour and 15 minutes but that’s better than nothing. With a cold you’d think I would have had a disturbed sleeping pattern but no I slept all night every night this week. For my MRI the hospital is about 20 minutes away from my parents and I would say 45 minutes away from mine, hence why I stopped over. But I couldn’t eat or drink for 8 hours before. So it was a simple wake up, chuck some clothes on and go. I had to be there an hour before, to drink some medicine and put my cannula in.
Needless to say the lady decided not to put my cannula in when I told her I had to lay down as I was scared and could faint. The liquid medicine was strange as well it was like I just drunk water for 35 minutes and like a whole jug full of it.
Hospitals are a huge no go for me. I am massively phobic of them, blood, surgery, injections you name it. Total wimp. My dad came with me which must be boring for him because its like 2 hours just sitting around. He was more thinking about the bins not being emptied the day before and calling the dustbin men. But he did that when I went in for my actual MRI. This is where I was super brave. 1 because I had the cannula put in me. But because I had to lay on my front for the whole 45 minutes. Anyone who knows me knows I can’t lay on my front, it hurts me and super uncomfortable for me. But what can I do. The other thing that really made me feel rough but also look it is the fact my cannula in my arm was literally right in my eyes staring at me. Who would think to put the injections in me whilst I can see, when I clearly told them I’m scared, I will faint and don’t tell me when you put it in. Well clearly not whilst stuck in the MRI machine instead of allowing me to move every time to be more comfortable. The lady decided to inject me right in my sight. Thank you very much.
Also its really impossible for someone to tell me to breathe in and back out and hold my breath. Can you do this? Because the more the lady told me to do this, it was too hard for my mind to switch off holding my breath and made me breathe.
I went to work after my MRI. To make up the time I had to work an extra hour a day for the rest of the week. I mean that was my choice but if and I mean IF I must have an operation that really takes up my sick leave allowance a year. So its better for me to make the 3 hours up than for me to make up 4 weeks worth.
That meant for the rest of the week, not only with a cold and now a cough, I was working longer and I was tired.
Wednesday was my niece’s 7th birthday so we went for fish and chips after work. Again this is a treat for me as I hardly do have fast food. I also eat gluten free 90% of the time. I mean the 10% is when my mum forgets or the only option to eat is gluten. I am not allergic to it. I am just finding it helping my stomach and the bloating by not eating it. So it works better for me. But I have to say the chicken and mushroom pie, with a tonne of ketchup and chips went down amazingly.
Something I have been religious to this week is reading. I am also looking more into my creativity and what I want to make etc. I have a few projects I need to finish which need to be first on my list. I really find the wind down hour before bed really helpful. I fill in my journals and then I read for about half hour.
For the first time in years probably since I was born to be honest, it’s the first year my birthday is in 2 weeks time and I haven’t got any plans fully confirmed. I know I am going out for dinner with my parents and I am also doing the annual trip shopping to Cambridge most probably. But no date is set in stone and I haven’t even made plans with friends. If my birthday was tomorrow I would be quite happy for a pamper, a duvet, the sofa and some movies. Chill out and that sounds amazing to me. Is it because I am getting older or because it’s not all about going out and that these days? Or is it because I’m not feeling 100% and that sounds amazing to someone who needs to feel better?
Thursday and Friday were pretty chilled really, the usual work, bubble bath, chicken and vegetables and chilled nights watching tv. I was super grateful for Friday though and the weekend. Though I have to say Thursday and Friday I didn’t have to wear my glasses because the yucky foggy headache had gone. That is a bonus!
The book has really been trying me, It could just be me but I really want my answers to be different everyday. I mean what I think as brave is probably completely different to what you think is brave. What have you done that’s brave today? Me I would say I was brave because I went into a negative situation (which are bad for me) and I just carried on and stayed away from, as much as possible and did my own thing whilst in that situation. If that makes sense. Normally I would just say goodbye or say something but actually by playing it cool and just going along with stuff I got things out of it that I thought automatically would crash down and my important thing I needed to do would be forgotten about. What do you class brave as?
Saturday I wanted to get fresh photos taken for instagram mainly. I also wanted to get Mollie Makes the magazine, because it has so much in it or on their Pinterest it does anyway that I want to make and it has 2 Tilly and The Buttons Patterns in for free. I can’t wait to sit down and ready this properly later. Though from the flick through the Vegan Rhubarb Cheesecake looks amazing!
I have been loving the chilled wind down, meditation whilst in the bath nightly routine. Meditation is so good and something everyone should do, taking the stress out or the negativity from your mind and releasing it really does help you for the following day. Do you meditate? If you don’t you really should try it. I found Headspace the app really helpful to learn to meditate properly.
Overall this week I can say I have ticked off quite a few self care things, I when out in the fresh air, I meditated, I had a treat or two, I wrote in my journals religiously, I went shopping, of course something I am good at, I had a face mask, I had plenty of hot baths and I stuck to my bed time rituals.
Being kind is something that I guess should come natural to everyone. It should being the main thing in that sentence. You should always think of others and it’s totally true you don’t know what anyone is going through. The act of kindness can really make that person’s day happier just from a simple text, or holding the door open, or inviting them out for a coffee. Anything. I have thought a lot about kindness this week and why being kind is something everyone should be and help others out. I mean the struggle really was real this week with feeling rough on top of hospital etc so simple things like a hope it goes well text or anything kind really does help the struggling soul. Remember that this week make someones day by being kind or kinder to them.
Though I am not really ticking all the boxes I want to be right now, the struggle does get real and I could really see that this week from my “endo hangover” and having to work longer hours, I also felt a bit lost at certain points and emotional.
But really I still have tried to think of the positives, I got some chocolate Bourbons at the hospital after my MRI, I had fish and chips, I got my photos done I wanted (all 90 of them), I went shopping and I looked after myself.
What more could I really ask for? A cry is sometimes as good as a laugh, it’s about the balanced life really. What do you want to get out of this week coming? Do you feel you need to add something to your routine to improve your week?