It is self care Sunday, a time where you should check in with your loved ones and besties too. Is everyone ok? Are you ok? Now tell the truth to yourself. What was good about the week and what was bad? Anything you want to improve on or focus on for this week coming? Self care is hugely important to me and should be for everyone. Doesn’t matter if you are mentally struggling, have a chronic illness or if you are right as rain. Everybody needs self care. Ok yes I have a chronic illness unfortunately but that is where I learnt a lot about myself, self care and everyday I am still learning new and exciting ways to work things through or around them.
This week… well I don’t know what to say really. It has been amazing and at the same time frustrating. How and why is a little more confusing. And as much as its been amazing, I have that little grudge in me at how frustrating things were and will be next week. I’m 5 years and a bit into my self care journey and will continue forever more I guess, so most things are just a habit now. Though you may class them as self care, for me it’s just routine. Really want this to be a happy week and be grateful for the happiness this week caused.
Life right now is a crazy exciting adventure. To be fair it has been a waiting game and I took my first steps on this adventure in August. I can tell you I am not 100% where I want to be right now in this adventure but in a sort of different way, things are beginning to excite me and I just hope that starting this way instead is going to kick start the rest into action. Making my adventure fall together nicely.
Things started rolling with getting my home ready and near enough on the market. Just waiting on the marketing agent to do their final bit. It is exciting but when I brought this, my first home back 4 years ago, it was the most grownup thing I have done in my life. And I didn’t think that 4 years on I would be selling it. But I am and it has put excitement in my step again. A thing to look forward to seems far more grownup than buying this, my first home. We just have to keep our fingers crossed that one someone wants to buy it and two everything else falls in place and works as well.
So this week has been sorting out my home, paperwork, photos and all sorts of grownup stuff. As stressful as that sounds and selling a property does, it’s been such a relaxed week. Which is amazing for myself. I wish every week was like this one! No atmosphere, no awkwardness and no stress. Peaceful and cheerful. You know when you just get on with things, get things done. Laugh about and chat freely. Purely is amazing. The fact as well we could breathe and relax our tense shoulders.
My friend and work colleague has gone on a plant based diet for health benefits only. She is really into fitness and CrossFit in particular. I used to eat meat free 5 out of 7 days a week. But I stopped for health reasons. Now she is on it and told me its meant to help with your health. I am sort of on it and not at the same time. Not that I don’t want to feel amazing but I know to go through with something in my adventure, I have a better chance by eating meat. A healthy balanced diet but one with meat in. This week I can say I’ve ticked vegetarian everyday so far but not the full way to plant based.
By Wednesday I was in agony and didn’t see the point in plant based anymore. Stuck with it though and my endometriosis, does do this most months. But I was swollen to look about 6 months pregnant and so much pain. I am not pregnant by the way. That was it then, I was off plant based and though if I had fish for dinner then I would feel better the next day. Ok I didn’t have fish the next I just carried on but things were starting to feel better and have done since. Even had some vegan coconut chocolate cheesecake for pudding tonight.
I have a love hate relationship at the minute with floristry. Don’t get me wrong I love floristry, the creativeness of it and the pretty flowers. But fake flowers just aren’t my thing. It would seem that my description of Spring, is very different to others Spring. How would you describe Spring? Bright, pastels, colourful, blossom and daffodils. That is my Spring. Everything seems to be really dark, dull and natural. A pop of purple if you are lucky and overly extreme tackiness. Hugely grateful that I have done so buying of my own for the next couple of classes and my easter/spring will be amazing. Instead of the wreath I was meant to make, I made an endometriosis one because it’s awareness month.
The rest of the week has been pretty chilled to be honest. Pretty lazy actually. My hair takes forever and a day to dry let alone straighten. So I’ve just been washing the top at my roots. Full wash at least once a week but it works. Can’t ask more than that. I say it works because it does but Thursday morning it wouldn’t play game and go nicely into a high pony. Ended up wearing it down with a knot wrap in, worked equally as good, just showed my grey hairs more!
What has been getting to me? Frustrating me? Well to put a long story into short. The answer is people. Ok I have a condition that unfortunately is invisible. I like it being invisible but when 1 million and 1 people around you aren’t doing well and you sit there quietly, looking 6 months pregnant and in pain. It really does frustrate you. My body frustrates me as well for not working properly when it should be. Nothing is stopping it. That is why it all gets too much really and if I suffer in silence but make an effort to succeed, why shouldn’t everyone else?
Not that I deserve a pat on the back or anything. Just upsets, annoys and frustrates me when everything around me can do as they please. It the unfairness of my condition. Life is unfair and I am just jealous of others.
Hot bubble baths have been high up on the list this week. One because of my swollen tummy, two because I love me a bubble bath and three because it’s freezing cold. Heat is everything to me when I don’t feel well. A soak in the bath for a while really can relax the bloated tummy, the pain and mind. Relax and destress. There is nothing better than coming home, hitting the boost button for extra hot water, cooking the tea and getting in a hot bubble bath.
Nothing beats two onesies and a blanket or two either. This week I have been stripping as the dinner cooks and changing into my onesies. My tummy is annoying me as you may of realised. It’s not just swollen, it is itchy and irritating me when in clothes. Why? Who knows to be honest it could be a number of things or just because. Wearing onesies means my tummy doesn’t have to touch anything and can calm down. When I am in pain, I can’t stand things touching my tummy, quick often in the weeks up to an operation I have my pyjama trousers rolled down low and the top rolled up to my chest to sleep.
Then we can talk about me time. I have really tried to bring this back into play this week. Well sort of I guess. The lazy butt of myself wants to stay warm and cozy so doesn’t go get her journals from the living room. Hence why my journals haven’t been filled in for a couple weeks. That frustrates me to be honest so I am going to bring it back in here and keep in my bed draws. Keeping the place tidy for viewings. But I am focusing on reading. I sleep so much better from 30 minutes or so of reading.
Finally I am getting into the last of the JoJo Moyes books called Just me. I have really loved this series. Actually love JoJo Moyes as an author and they are easy to get stuck into. When I am coming home for lunch as well, I have even got my book out then and read. Only about half way through but it’s just staring me right now and I am itching to read it. Better finish this update off first.
Sleep is my ultimate favourite. Whether I am in a bad mood, pain or off colour. Just send me to bed. Seriously its worth it. That or have me snap at you for no reason. I use to nap all the time but since ages ago now, I haven’t. Don’t miss my 3 hour naps because my nighttime sleep is so much better. So what if I need 12 hours sleep a night! If it keeps me ticking then weekend lay ins are a must!
As a lady with endometriosis, this week I have seen the best and the bad. I hate when I am swollen and in pain. It is horrid and I do get emotional and struggle. But at the same time I have had the opportunity to show my best abilities and quietly work hard on my own things. Ahh amazing. Putting the excitement back in my step has made me focus on something new and exciting. So I just keep thinking of a new home and an adventure. Realised that actually sticking by the good people and buddying up works well in our favour and that we need to do that more often to succeed.
Next week I want to make sure I journal. Doodle whatever I want to, but bring it back to daily. Try and focus on the about of chilled out, focused time this week has brought and rejoin with a powerful mind. Know what I want from the week and make sure it happens. Oh it’s going to be a busy one. I am hosting my niece’s birthday party again. Unicorn Cake decorating party. How fancy! So my creative levels need to be high. Also want to try just think of why I am who I am, and why I was given the strength to have an invisible illness. Focus on my adventure and let the surroundings and their lives frustrate me. One day it will come back and bite them on the bum.
What are you focusing on at the minute? Anything you need to practice more of this week?