Self care has really been here this week. I’ve needed it and I can’t overly tell you the real reason why. Purely because I don’t know why myself. But all I have to say is that the world is extremely weird at the minute and everybody needs a bit of self care. For one I am living my best life at the minute but even that can be a mess sometimes! It isn’t just for the chronic illness and pain sufferers, or the people with mental health problems, it is for everyone!
I started writing this at 5pm when I finished work. It took the title for me think, erm nah, I will do this later. Now being half 8pm and I am writing this and it may not even be the beginning paragraph of this post. But this is how the week has felt. A little miss mashed and all over the place. We all can have bad days and good days and some weeks are just a write off. This week though has just been a completely unorganised week. Rolling into the weekend now with heartburn and a feeling of uncertainty. Having to keep reminding myself things will be ok.
Basically I ended last and started this week off with being completely unorganised and having so much to do to get things done. As of today, my social influencer posts, whether on here, YouTube or instagram, is my hobby. Something I love to do, create and post, but I do post 6 times a week and hold down a 9-5 full time job! Oh and 2 hours of cleaning a week for my Grandma paid. Doing all the posting, creating, working and socialising, I have to be super organised and on top of everything. This week it purely just took every hour to make things happen.
Being that I am in the process of moving house. Buying and selling and all that stressful malarky. I took Saturday afternoon to go shopping. Realistically I am doubling in size, property wise. So I need to shop. Need may be the wrong word. But being the scaredy cat I am, I have to have curtain in the lounge and my bedroom the day I move in. Otherwise I will live upstairs all my life. So Saturday I went Dunelm Mill and needless to say I didn’t get curtains, I have a good number weeks left though!
Fashion is my thing, as you may know and I love to diy it. Mostly I create videos on this. So Sunday, for yesterdays video, I started to embroider flowers onto a tee. Well this is what screwed me for the week. It looks amazing and I am super pleased with it. But Sundays are the day to edit for the week. I have to get it all done, for my week to run smoothly. Nope Thursday night I was still sewing this top. To be fair it was half hour to an hour a night, but that isn’t good when it comes to Friday lunchtime and I am spending my hour editing a video for the next day!
Something that isn’t helping with the way I am feeling right now either, has to be the feeling of being stuck in limbo. I am loving working from home and honestly I am totally fine with staying home forever. Will that happen though? That feeling of when is it going to happen and the fact that it is getting nearer to September. Really I could be moving in 2 weeks or 3 months, I don’t have a clue. The 2 weeks is what I am hoping for (doubtful). It’s all the waiting around and not knowing that is making me anxious. If I knew I could stay home and my move date, I would feel a lot better.
Needless to say it’s Friday night and I am now back on schedule, at least I will be when I have finished this! The way my little life stays happy is by being organised! Routine and structure is something I thrive off of. I guess that is one of the reasons it is Friday night and I am feeling a little on the low side. Having a beautiful top though and a 30 minute video out makes me smile and happy.
I really do think that a lot of people thrive off of routine and structure in their life. For certain my body is so much happier with a healthy balanced diet and a lot of sleep. But sometimes my mind or in fact my endometriosis tummy takes me off in another direction. All I am trying to say is that this week probably should be a write off. But actually I still achieved a lot out of it.
On the way home on Sunday I stopped of at Dunelm Mill again and brought a new chair for my desk. Yes I built it myself. An achievement on its own. My dad keeps telling me he is getting too old to help. So I wanted to show him I could do things on my own. One velvet desk chair built. Not too sure if he was disappointed that I actually built it or not. But secretly I know he is!
My diet has been fairly healthy this week. Though one day my breakfast tasted a little funny, so now I am on granola and yogurt instead. That is ok though right? I am loving tea and its probably the healthiest kind of meal I am eating daily. Its really simple, I just cook some chicken and eat it with some cucumber and cherry tomatoes.
Now the week is over, I can reflect on everything and take forward what I have learnt. Be proud of what I have achieved and for who I am. I am learning everyday but I have learnt that I should stick to my schedule or adapt it to make things less stressful for me. Stress equals pain and flare ups and that isn’t the best thing for me.
Personally I feel like I am doing good in my inner introvert life. Being home most the time, rocking the comfy pants and frizzy curls. For sure there is a smile on my face more now, than over the last few years. Working hard and I think achieving good. Chatting and doing what I want when I want, is amazing for me.
Some will think this pandemic is making this year 2020, the worst year of their life. Well look at me, I turned 30, I am buying a house (hopefully) and I am happy. What more can I want. When the move happens, I am ready and waiting for my new chapter to begin, and I am excited for it.
But with the excitement of the future, brings goals and things to look forward to. That is really what I have to focus on and be ok with naff weeks like this one. As long as I take the goods from this week and move forward with what I have learnt then all is ok.
Bad weeks and naff weeks are totally ok. I have to say mine has been, even if there are so many goods about it as well. The weather definitely doesn’t help. Going from 38c to 20c, boiling hot to pouring with rain. Now I am just ready for the new week to start. I’ve written all I need to for this week in my bullet journal, the page has turned and trapped the worst parts.
Let’s hope week 35 is a good one. How was your week?