It is time for self care Sunday. Happy Easter! How are you all this Easter Sunday? Right now we are in a crazy world. Most are probably going crazy because of the 4 walls they live in and are now trapped there. Some are fortunate of a garden, where as some are unlucky. I am one of the unlucky ones, living in a flat. Every Sunday I update you a little on my week and how life is going in general for me. But it is also a time to check in with loved ones and to make sure we head into another good week. 

Well let’s start with its been a big week for me. I turned the big 3 0 on Tuesday. By myself of course in lockdown. Party for one please! The first short week of many with bank holidays. Pretty much a waste when you can’t go hang out or whatever. But I am sure Monday and the two in May will be just the same! All fun and games in lockdown on your own. 

Tuesday was my 30th like I just mentioned and actually for birthdays it was actually quite good. I don’t like my birthday. Things seem to always go wrong or plans mess up etc. Though Covid-19 has messed this up, I am all for celebrating it later in the year hopefully. The first birthday in a good 10 years that I worked. All be it, I worked from home on my own. But still. 

Quite nice to wake up at 8am and roll through to the living room and work hard all day. Hunt for my balloons in a block of 142 flats. Eat a huge takeaway from Pizza Hut and then be surprise by cakes from my niece and nephew, via the knock and run technique. Added bonus when you get a card from Moonpig, addressed to you but the card is totally not for you! Wonder who actually got my card? 

Right now there is sort of a pattern of good days, bad days, good days etc. I can’t tell you why, because everyday is the same or be it, depending on work or the weekend. But the rise and falls are big differences. Days when I just want to lay around and will just stare into space until I force myself up. Then others, where I am super productive, smashing out the to do list for work or even weekend ones.

It seems to be around 4pm-6pm where I stop and feel the need to have a cry. Or at 8pm at night.You know when you are alright but something just feels up. That is what the bad days seem to be. Sort of like I have seen myself and talked to myself enough that I need a little pick me up or different scene for a while. Change is good. I reckon I’ve cried at least once this week. But crying is good to clear the emotion and carry on being ok. 

Evenings are chilled because even if I wanted to try write a blog or do something. My self just won’t budge to do it. To the point that face mask Friday was written on Friday this week. I need to find a way to be more productive in the evening. Maybe I should go write from the car or something. Not drive anywhere but just so its a new scenery. Tend to do work days in the living room and evenings in the bedroom to break to spaces up for different things. 

Going out everyday for a walk, even when I have to force myself on bad days. Is really helping me. The weather is warm and super nice. That is literally chuck on some shoes and go. Free space and the fresh air is super helpful to clear my head and clear the negatives that may be creeping up in my thoughts. It really is the main part of the day to keep the good mindset going. Nothing is too strenuous for me because a walk to the bin shed is enough for me. But I am just going, come 5pm I am shut down and converse are on. Take the rubbish out then walk down the road and back. Pretty easy really that this week coming I should venture a little further because the exercise is good for me to. 

I tried to have the tv off the other day and I can tell you now. Listen to music or the tele, even a dvd but have something on. The sound of whatever it is, makes the day go so much quicker. Not that I am sitting there watching the movie non stop. It just gives the sense of others in the room, so that it’s not dead silent and eerie. 

Have to admit though that work days fly passed. Before I even look at the clock it’s 11am or later. Lunch is around half 1 because of the time I realise I better cook myself something. Back to work after the lunch break and like that its 4:50pm. Super appreciative and grateful to be in a job, let alone be busy in what I am doing. If I wasn’t working I would have lost my mind by now or my credit card bill would be more than I can afford! 

Reading is the most enjoyable time of the working weekday. So into reading right now, that it would seem I was a different person to the one I grew up as. I am not a good reader but just finished a book in 4 days and now onto another really good one. That last hour before bed is so essential for me. If I don’t stop all interacting with the outside world then the nights sleep is so much less than one with a calm, relaxed mind. 

Sleep is my thing, I love sleep. I have learnt that the sleep I need is so different to the average 30 year old but my endometriosis needs the sleep to stay ok. Weekdays are now 10pm-8am roughly 10 hours a night, and weekends I sleep till whenever, normally about 12 hours. Its amazing and makes me feel so much better for a good long night’s sleep. Even if I pretty much miss the morning, I have so much more energy and motivation to get things done in the afternoon and evening. 

That is it really. Life is pretty boring in the four walls I live in. The crazy noise of somewhere in this block of flats comes and goes and drives me insane. Spring is here and its beautiful. Even finding touches of spring is enough to put a smile on my face. Food is good and some of it is homemade. Trying to be healthy. Doing what I have to do and picking things to do as well makes my mind better. 

Bubble baths are a must, along with makeup. Crazy what making an effort and dressing up does to the day. Learning daily what I am capable of and expressing creativity in so many new ways. Getting foods from the local farm and butchers is so much better to stay healthy and clean eat. Though its money, I have good food to eat and not have to even step near a supermarket. As long as I can create, eat, sleep, bath and read I am ok. 

This week coming I feel will be the same. Nothing new I guess but we will have to wait and see. Somehow I really want to keep that motivation and work on my own things in the evening rather than just watch something. There is nothing new other than work is next door rather than up the road. Push my walk a little further and make the most of the only time I can escape the house each day. A form of exercise. Maybe even explore what new vegetables are on offer at the farm this week. Home delivered of course. 

What are you looking to explore more this week? Are you coping with lockdown?