So this is me Melanie Kate the girl who has told you how she copes with endometriosis. Trust me Self Care is so important you have to try it. Put you and your health first its a must to get better and continue a normal life. I can 100% tell you that this year, well the first 7 months of it have been the most hardest time in my life. But look at me now I am so amazingly proud of who I am and what I have achieved this year. I struggled massively and yes its hard to cope when you are high on tramadol and spaced out 24/7 but after my operation in April I have overcome those struggles and grown to be the strongest I have ever been. Ok I struggle some days and there can be moments of pain and emotions but the majority of the time I am ok. Ok is what I want to be and to be able to live a normal life and do as much as I want to.

I have had 5 trips to the operating theatre in the space of 3 years its not especially nice especially with a hospital phobia. When I was younger my sister had an appointment at great Ormond street hospital, we traveled there by train and taxi. When we got there within 5 minutes of being in a hospital I was sick. The nurse came out to the waiting room to get my sister and thought I was the patient. Hospitals do that to me I don’t know why. I am a wimp. Those 5 trips got harder and harder for me. I would cry and worry continuously. But actually the 5th, my latest operation was the easiest,  leaving my dad in my room, to walking down to theatre with the nurse. The worse part was waiting to be put under. Though the anaesthetist told me a story to stop me panicking which was quite funny and true. Hold the nurses hand as well, no matter how old you are. But now I can go and get my hormone injection on my own. Which is a major step for me. If you are scared of hospitals, I would say ask to go first on that operating list, every time I have and its helped so much with nerves and overthinking.

I have to thank my support system. My friends and family. The ones that put up with me through my worst and pulled me out of the big deep hole I was creating. I mean you lot are amazing. I don’t even know how they managed to keep strong when I was going to pieces over things wrong with me. So thank you I know I was and am a pain. I had so many plans for this year, promises that I had to break which still upset me today. You are my everything and I truly appreciate you all. My niece and nephew, who if you have seen my vlogs recently you may of heard them call me Bruce or Brucie, I love spending time with you two, you are amazing children and helped Grandma look after me after my operation. Even if you were fasinated with my stitches and bandages. You are the ones I live for and try my best to stay strong for.

I look at myself in the mirror every morning, I am not one to be skinny naturally but I look in my mirror and say ‘look Mel wow you are a size 10. Thats amazing.’ I have to love my body for who I am and you know what, people with tattoos pick them for personal reason or for their personality. Me I just got a pirates map with lots of treasure spots on my stomach for nothing!  My scars are my tattoos I just didn’t pick them. You know no body is perfect everyone has their own flaws, so its not like I can change it really these things happen so hey this is me. I have to deal with it and learn to love it. Least theres a story behind mine as well as yours. Be happy for who you are and what you have achieved. Don’t let anyone or anything change you.

Self care has really helped me and I have loved sharing my story with you, I thank each and everyone of you who has took their time to read my blog posts and make me smile. I love my online friends too. I really hope I have and can help someone who needs a little help in hand, use self care it helps so much with a chronic illness but also with mental health. In fact anyone can use self care just force it into your routine. You will find things that will make you love yourself again and be able to be proud of who you are. You know after working in a gym for 6 years I hated the gym or any kind of exercise but I love pilates. I struggled in school with English but I am now writing a blog and reading a book daily. Simple things like the smell of method cleaner in wild rhubarb when I’ve cleaned the kitchen make me smile now when a while back I was struggling to keep my flat clean.

If you are struggling I urged you to try self care, set some goals that may not be achievable to start with, but you will get there. When I first found self care over a year ago I set 5 goals. Some which I haven’t achieved fully yet but some I have. 1, socialise, 2, pilates, 3, have the children for a sleepover, 4, create a youtube channel, and 5, able to work full time. Out of them 5 I have achieved 4 out of the 5. The only one that hasn’t happened is the sleepover. But they came over last Saturday for instants and we made jewellery together. We all enjoyed ourselves and had a good time. Little steps but achievable at some stage.

Self care is a daily thing, it may sound stupid to you but once its stuck into your routine you do it automatically. I can easily pick up a book and read for half hour to an hour. I can meditate whenever I want to. I have even started doing pilates at home to help stretch my scars where the nerves are causing pain. Bullet journal is amazing for me too getting everything off your chest leaves you feeling good. Try it see if it helps you.

Along with the points I have covered I try to eat clean healthy meals with Fridays being a treat day. Keeping to a clean healthy diet helps me control my health and puts the energy in me that I need to continue. Fridays I will treat myself to a Nutella toastie for breakfast but I am 90% vegaterian now with only the thin meat in a roll for lunch. Clean eating helps me and again in someway this is self care because you are looking after yourself and body.

I am signing off from my endometriosis and self care story now, you maybe get updates from time to time, or if I learn/love something new I will share it. I love my blog and I love everything fashion related, writing to you every week is bringing back my fashion design days at college I am dying to make something. So watch this space I will still be posting on Tuesdays and Sundays but back to fashion, beauty, lifestyle and travel. I have a holiday coming up I can’t wait to share it with you.

If you have endometriosis or would like to practice self care please feel free to ask me any questions. If you would like me to cover something in particular to do with Endometriosis please let me know also.

Thank you