Hi, I am Melanie Kate, 29 from the UK and I am addicted to fashion. Sounds like I am introducing myself to an AA meeting. Well, really its very similar but I am not at a meeting. I am most likely to be on the sofa or in bed as you read this.
I have always thought of fashion to be apart of my self care really. Whether I am sick, fat, thin or fighting fit I can buy clothes. Stay up with the latest trends and it literally would be the size that maybe changed.
Fashion is my comfort. I am really good at fashion, I studied fashion. Really I find fashion a way of hiding how I feel or whats going on. By looking good I guess. I find comfort in what I wear, what I share and when I give fashion advice. No matter what I like to get up, pick a good outfit and look good for the day. It’s my way of hiding in something that looks amazing even if I am not.
If you are a regular to my blogs you will no I am massively into self care. It really helps me to live a normal life as possible. I was having my hair cut and coloured the other week when my friend was talking to me about this. I already knew I was addicted and needed to stop but I just didn’t know how.
In fact whereas I thought fashion was part of my self care. You know a bit of retail therapy is always good for you. But really fashion is me self indulging, when I don’t actually need another Tommy Hilfiger or a pair of new converse.
Money is and has always been tight for me, I am not going to lie and that is why having a credit card is lethal. I have a mortgage, I live on my own, I have my own private medical insurance, car and own bills. I always have used my credit card for online purchases and in shops sometimes. Well, this is where it stops. I no longer have my credit card in my hands for my use. In fact I really don’t know where it is, its just not in my house.
It has only been since Christmas I have been self indulging. I am a week away from my payday and this will have been a month of stopping my addiction. Sorry no more hauls for a while unless I come into masses of money.
I don’t know why but from December when I am buying for everyone else, I naturally think or find of things I would like, I have home things that need paying in December too. Then I just get a little carried away. Happy shopping, spending and yes thats when I indulge.
Just before this payday just gone, I sat down with my mum and we came up with a plan, a way for me to work this all out and get sorted. Stop my fashion addiction. A way of saving on food shopping and everyday ways of living. I am that grown up now that has a money spread sheet to fill in and keep up to date with every spend. This is when I handed my credit card over to my mum. I can’t spend on it anymore.
This comes to the hard part, little did I know that due to taxes or paying a higher pension, I got paid £6 less this month and will do from now until such time of a pay rise. I have £67 to live off a month, thats clothes, going out with friends, crafts, floristry practice and things like that.
The places I like to shop are shops such as Topshop, Warehouse and Vans. They aren’t cheap. So its like ok I could have 1 jumper or nothing fashion related but all floristry stuff. Thats so hard for me to say, write or even imagine even when I am nearly a month in.
This month was really hard to be honest because it was my first on a budget, I had to pay more ground rent on my flat, first month of my private health insurance coming out.
I went on my money spreadsheet last night, calculated my money and I have saved every week on my food shop, but £5 or more. That’s really good for my first month. I have brought 1 top and the rest has been floristry bits for practice. I also went to lunch with my friend.
It’s a massive change for me, lifestyle for me is self care, fashion, pilates, floristry, friends, crafts and eating out. When you have a tight budget, it’s a struggle. It really is.
I have kept away from the shops this month. I don’t want to go near them because I know they will pull me in to want to buy something. It wont be a panic attack over the food shop, soon it will be because I just need that t-shirt.
This is a massive learning curve for me. I know now I don’t need that t-shirt or whatever is shouting at me, it’s a way of me indulging in what I like. I now need to look at fashion as another way, is that essential or is it a need. Look in my cupboard its full of striped t-shirts. I have plenty do I really need another?
Training myself to not indulge in fashion is huge! I really love it. As the weather changes I know I am going to need to sort my wardrobe out, find things summery. You know even if I buy some fabric that can be cheaper for me to make my own outfit than buy. I just need to train my brain to think this way.
Do you self indulge? What are you addicted to? Would you like to stop this addiction?