Hey! Welcome to this week’s self care Sunday. A chance for me to check in with you all, see how you are all doing, and a chance for you to all catch up a little more on my life. How I am doing and what is helping me etc. If you are new, hello I am Melanie Kate or as most people call me Mel. 29 years old, living in the UK with endometriosis, a condition I wouldn’t wish on anyone. One minute you can be well as can be and the next you’re rolling around in agony. I was diagnosed with endometriosis last year properly but have had a pretty rough 5 and half years getting there. To be fair way back 5 and half years ago they said endometriosis, they should of just stuck with it in the first place.
Self care for me is the thing that keeps me going, it keeps me living a normal as possible life as I can. It’s taught me ways of coping, enjoying and doing what my body needs everyday. Though self care came into my life a few years ago due to the chaotic mess of endometriosis, self care is for everyone. I am not just meaning the daily get dressed, showered and general life, though that does come into play, I am talking about real life and how to make it a happier one.
When I took on this goal this year, I really didn’t expect to be where I am today. And by that I mean in so many ways. Some I can say like both my grandad’s dying, but others are starting and still too personal. If you look back on your year so far, have things gone to plan as they should have?
Anyone suffer in the autumn and winter, with the darker nights and the cold weather? I certainly have done in the past, I believe something is itching to come out and knock me down into that S.A.D.S stage. But I really want to work hard on not letting that attack me. There’s so many things to do to stay positive when not feeling too good and ways to help you keep in high spirits.
This week has been half term, not that I get half term because I work in an office. But I envy teachers and students now. I hated school when I was a child and really went for as little as I could. It’s crazy now, I am an adult how things changed and I could of done with this week off.
Routine is key for me, I have to have a plan of action, know what I am doing and when I am doing it. This really helps me and I am able to stay focused on keeping that up to encourage my good wellbeing to stay high. Simple things like take the rubbish out on a Saturday, or making sure I load the dishwasher and empty daily. They just keep me ticking along smoothly.
Stress has hit me like a tone of potatoes recently and I am struggling. It’s hard to snap out of stress because it’s appearing in all sorts of directions. If it was in one area I could just break away but I am suffering in health, negativity, grieving and work. By Tuesday I really had had enough. I was snowed under and really on the line of this is ok, this is not ok. Luckily for me, my confidence appeared from somewhere and said no. Also super thankful for others offering to help to take the load off me.
Talking of S.A.D.S disorder, I am really thinking that my Himalayan pink salt lamp is really helping me. To be fair it has helped me in so many ways and I really feel my home is inviting and full of happy positives. You can think I am crazy that a clump of salt and a light inside it really won’t do anything but it feels like it to me. Every night I switch it on when I get home from work and actually maybe I should get one for my living room as well. Somehow tonight especially after a long week I can feel the good, happy, positive coming from it.
Because of half term, I didn’t have college or pilates. So my creativity and fitness wasn’t the best but I did do so much creating last weekend ready to sell for Christmas and a lovely bouquet for my friend. I like to add the creativity in as much as possible because its something I love and am naturally talented at. Whatever the creativity may be it’s a way of me enjoying myself, pushing myself with what I am doing and distracting myself from whatever is bothering me.
Thursday I had the hospital for my scans on the lump in my elbow. NHS takes time if that’s what you are thinking but really it was about 6 weeks since I actually gave in and went to the doctors. It’s really weird to be resting your arm on the bed to have an ultrasound. Not that I am professional doctor or anything but I didn’t think an ultrasound would show anything and lets just say I am right. Though actually the lady who scanned me, she felt the lump and kept going back to feel it to check the scanner was in the right place and looking at what it needed to. Needless to say my arm still hurts, the lump is still there and I am none the wiser of what it maybe. The only thing I can tell you is that it’s not cancer. Which is a good thing. So basically it’s put up with it and go back when it’s not gone and is growing.
Endometriosis can grow anywhere on and in your body. Did you know that? Well I did have a think about maybe its endometriosis on the inside of my elbow but my mum said no and thought I was being stupid. Whether it is or not, we don’t know and in reality I just have to put up with another pain in my life.
I started the week on a pretty low, not myself, struggling through feeling unwell, and general negativity trying to adopt me. But my strength and poodling through has brought me to a better place. Simple things as realising the better things, pushing through and standing up for myself. Doing things that others do to me and trying to break the negative. Friday night when you are sitting in bed with a face mask on and you start to find the motivation to do something really has encouraged me for a good weekend ahead.
We said goodbye to October and brought in November this week and I have to say it’s been one of the coldest weeks so far this year or in a long while anyway. As much as I love a cosy night in and snuggled up. Cold does so much wrong for me. Which is a real shame. I’m a naturally cold person and the cold creeps into me way more than others. Talking vests and jumpers already here at a high of 11c. But I have been bossing my hot water daily to get the warmest bubble bath going. Stepping into a hot bath or hot shower is the best after a cold day and time to unwind and relax in the warmth. Total sucker for a good bubble bath.
When my grandad passed away, well actually my mum was going to ask see if I could borrow it anyway. I was given his kindle. As much as this sounds odd, I was really unsure if I wanted to use it now that he passed away. The feelings in me were just odd and strange that I just couldn’t even touch it. Because I am on a no spend or minimal spend I needed to use it. We are talking £1.99 compared to £8. So it’s a big difference, this week has been that time when I have had to face the kindle and I am not 40% through my first book.
Due to not feeling my best these last couple of weeks, I decided it was time to focus on health and food really. I did weight watchers 5 years ago and lost a lot of weight. So I eat less I guess than a normal person due to the portions weight watchers gave me. When I was really poorly with endometriosis I hardly ate just because I felt sick all the time. But in reality now that I have gone back to it, it works for me and I can feel the difference just in a week. That is that I only eat carbs in one of my 3 meals. Which mostly is my lunch a roll. Dinners are meat/fish and a pile of vegetables. If something so simple as that can make me feel better in myself, I really need to remember to focus on that and push it to continue.
Health is everything to me right now, I need to keep well and keep everything under control. I wish I knew how to get rid of this headache I seem to get daily other than pills and my glasses. It will go I am sure really soon. If my body tells me to go have an early night or not do something else then that’s what I need to do. Me that’s really all that’s important. To feel good and be happy is all I need to focus on.
Me time has been a thing I have loved throughout the year and I have just actually found the new books I would like for 2020. You really don’t know how much sitting down an hour before bed, writing and clearing your head, followed by reading does for me. It gives you that chance to switch off and unwind, remove all that’s winding around in your head and gains you the best nights sleep.
We start with the 365 days of self care a journal. Every day it asks me the same questions, how much I drunk and slept. How was I brave, my mood and what I am grateful for. Because I am me I really set the challenge high when I started this book because every day I wanted my bravery to be different and what I am grateful for as well. In reality I do the same thing most days because I work full time so it is really hard and what I thought was brave in January might not be how brave I am now. Good days are the best though when it comes to gratefulness and the answers always put a smile on my face and remind me of the good.
My bullet journal is all about positivity. Positivity is what I strive off and we all need to push this. Everything that was positive each day, whether its a feeling, thought, thing or what I am motivated for. They all go down. I also track me mood because my mood graphs are really a way of me tracking the bad days and what I can do to improve them. This weekend it’s also my time to start the new month and set my new monthly goals.
Then we come to my daily planner, this one is about everything. Every night before bed I jot down all my feelings whether they are good or bad or just ok. Everything goes in and stays trapped in the book so I get a good nights sleep and can start a fresh everyday. I have several phrases I live by and daily I write them down in my planner as a reminder of what I live by and encourages me to push on. There is also spots of objectives and projects, every night I write the next days and what it is I am to do that day or what is to push me through and motivate me.
To see the good in every week, whether its been a good or bad one is the best thing! You know this week I thought was going to be awful but I am ending it in an ok sort of leading to a high mood. Kindness goes really far in my eyes and should in everyones. There are always stories you don’t speak about or what to be heard and there are some people out there that will treat you different to others. Really all you need to do is think of yourself, push your strength mentally and go on with your life. Being kind is just making it easier and better for you and everyone else.
What are your goals for this upcoming week? For me I am looking forward to being back in floristry and pilates and I am really going to stick to this carbs in one meal only. I want to somehow work on my headaches and maybe do some more meditating to help that.